Hash Latest Archive 24/9/05 to 9/2/07
9/2/07 Towed, we are desperate for Trash 1417 and will try anything to get WSP to live up to it's hash development responsibilities. The pressure WILL NOT STOP until we get it. Rotter P.S. I love your freudian slip in the misspelling of hierarchy. We all know Roger's got much more heir than you.
9/2/07 Oh, Bugger - the shite hits (henceforth abbreviated to Shits - highly appropriate to Nepal) have gone to 1521 so I've missed Shit No. 1,500. It'll just have to wait until Shit No. 1,750!

And please can I repeat my earlier request to stop pestering that nice old man in the picture (near the bottom of Trash 1472 - GM). He outranks me in the company heirarchy and is now sending messages of complaint. I fear for next year's bonus. On On, Towed
1/2/07 Keeled, does Towed mean by 'really special' that he will honour his comittment to deliver Trash 1417 to us? And if so, should you and I try logging on and off lots of times to increase the counter so that we get it quicker? And Towed, are you aware that that Jim ambo has finally got the Hash Name 'Over-Exposed" (because of his poor photography, naturally). GM
1/2/07 Dear Rotts and Keeled, I cannot help noticing that there only seems to be you, thee and me contributing to that intellectual chat room that is the Fresh and Steamy Stuff. Is no-one else interested? Don't they know how to press all the little buttons to get the words to appear? Doesn't BigJim know how to instruct a minion to do it?

I'm pleased to note that you now have a hit counter tucked away in the corner of the home page. I'm planning something really special for when I'm hit No. 1,500. On On the Litter Ate. Towed
27/1/07 Dear Towed , Yes it was amazing that the young lady in question, Ester Van der Blonk, had no idea what Plonker meant although she was awarded this hash name about 6 months ago.
Where's Trash 1417 you Plonker!
On-on Keeled

27/1/07 Dear Webshite Editor, Somewhat surprisingly, I find myself wishing to take issue with the editorial comment at the end of Trash 1471 regarding the alleged similarity between the term “plonker” and “wally”. I have looked up both in my dictionary of abusive colonial terminology and note the following:

  • WALLY Wanker At Long Last In Evidence (or Wallie for the less dyslexic). This basically applies to absolute tossers who have hidden under bushes, in cupboards etc for most of their lives but have finally “come out”. Itchy Balls was a fine example. All Canadians are tossers – no, sorry, that distinction goes to the Australians – but most are.
  • So being a called a wally is tantamount to being called an Australian (and there is a possible association there with what they do with wallabies). Plonkers are not Australian – it is a singularly British term. Plonkers are (everyone) from the south of England (the lucky bastards who can whiz over to France to buy the really cheap stuff).

Yours from Yorkshire. Towed

18/1/07 Dear Toadface, The abstracts are to aid hashers with fading memories (i.e. most of them, including you) to find a past run more quickly and easily, rather than have to view whole trash pages one by one. And, to correct your misunderstanding, they will supplement, not replace, the full Monty. GM
18/1/07 Dear Keeled, I concur (partially) with your comments on the Trash abstracts. What the ****! are these for. Clearly the GM is short on fee-earning work and is talking bollocks about making the webshite easier. With the line speeds that I have here, not to mention the holes in the Taiwanese cables, it simply makes it slower and less user-friendly. Bring back proper full length hash reports like wot I used to write is what I say. Towed
16/1/07 Keeled, thanks for the positive reaction. (this is what he's talking about) I'll allow you to steal a beer on Saturday. It's all part of the HHHH's constant struggle to make the runs harder and the webshite easier. GM
16/1/07 Rotter! What the hell are these abstracts/executive summaries that have appeared on the latest trash index page on the shite!? Will these appear in the Index of International Hashing Studies? Keeled P.S. Pretty good idea.
15/1/07 Yes, firstly you can keep Trash 1413 to a readable length. Secondly, any tips from Towed Under about keeping Mozzy from lifting her tail for the (hordes of) local gentlemen to have a look greatly appreciated (first time was at last Saturday's hash and she's still going strong). I will meet with the Bored of Mismanagement to decide whether we need any more 'help'. GM
15/1/07 You're both welcome - anything else I can do to brighten up your lives? Towed
15/1/07 Yes, I'm afraid there is nobody else worth slagging off on the hash these days except for the GM. Our humble apologies for not posting all the drivel you send us. Keeled
12/1/07 The Gee Mizz has asked me to let you all know that her wounded dog is doing fine, after been nicely stitched up by the vet. And she would like to thank everyone who supplied shirts and other items of clothing to soak up the blood. The only one I can specifically remember is Shasa. Of course if I was bleeding to death halfway round a run I can't see any of you lot offering much, except a set of dirty underwear from Keeled. Ah well, it's a Grand Master's life. GM
15/1/07 Keeled, Already spotted this slander on the Webshite. Regret to say that my final report for HHHH will have to take second place to the final report for my day job here, which is already two weeks overdue. Have faith, however, the words will eventually ensue. Why isn't my message of congratulations to Squizz and Barbie posted yet? Towed (Although I continue to be gravely concerned about the effect of Towed's thankfully brief attack on Sqizz's feelings, I've just posted it below - GM)
12/1/07 Towed you old fart! The reason we did not originally post your note from 12/1/07 (see below) was because we were highly suspicious at the polite diction of your note in huge contrast to your usual ill-mannered rantings. We are still looking forward to the words for Trash 1413. Keeled
15/1/07 Aw, geez Barbie, you must be friggin' desperate! Towed

12/1/07 Howdy all, I hope that this find you all well....

Some news: Well it finally happened. I am very excited to tell you that Squiz has popped the question. Last Friday, 5 January, he took me into the Aussie bushland for no apparent reason (could have been to dig a hole and bury me, or to propose marriage). We sat on a log and he told me that he didn't want me to come back to Sri Lanka with him.... as his girlfriend.... he'd like me to go back as his fiance (or finance as I like to phrase it). Then the magic question..."Will you marry me?" Silly me bolted straight to the "yes, of course" without taking the opportunity to let him sweat it out for a few seconds. You'd think I would have learnt to play the game.....

We plan to get married next January when we return to Australia. Till next time, Nudxxxxx (Barbie Girl)

11/1/07 Deer Gee Emm, What a disgusting crawly and grovelling communication from AAA. I had him down as a rebel without a cause, smoking pot in the toilet whilst Mum sips sherry (and smokes pot) in the drawing room. How can he possibly look forward to coming back to the HHHH.

I also have a complaint (or so my GP says) about the fact that requests to me are posted yet the prompt and generous reply that I made is not. Will send under a separate cover to you, who I believe to be a fair and honest broker of hash news unlike the mysoginist (whatever that may mean) Keeled Over. On On, Towed
12/1/07 Dear Keeled, I'm sure that the note that words were expected from me are a recent addition to the page for that run. However, since it was such a superlative run, set by Hares of great distinction, I will do my best to oblige in due course. Towed
4/1/07 Hi David, I hope this photos go through. (Yes Nils, they did, but they're all out of focus - I assume that this is the current fashion being taught in your Media Studies course. Can I suggest that you also take a module in Grammatical English - GM) I can't wait to join you again on an H4 run again the summer. Next time I will really run! Warm regards, Nils (who shall be known as AAA as he is Son of Ever Reddy)
4/1/07 Dear Towed , We are still awaiting the words for Trash 1413 from December 2005. Please make it no more than 2000 words long. We would appreciate your kind response at the earliest. On-on. Keeled
22/12/06 Wine and snacks will be served after Hash 1467. We had thought of cooking chips and things at the OnSite, but Durga reckoned she wouldn't have time to keep the Hungry Hash Hordes satisfied. GM
10/12/06 To The Whole Himalayan Hash Family: You are cordially invited to The Farewell Bash of Monsieur et Madamme Itchy Balls during which every effort will be made to ensure that they really do leave the country. The run will take place at the normal time, followed by the circle, followed by specially extended and enhanced Social Drinking from about 5pm. The venue is the Park Village Resort, Buddhanilkanta, where there will be a charcoal fire at the poolside, live music from the Ball Heartbreakers, and food and wine [Wot no beer!!] So that we can warn the Resort, could you please email tibetgal@wlink.com.np if you intend to come Tibetgal and Rotter
3/12/06 A Pedant Writes: If the red tee shirt occasion was for the departure of Mrs Itchy could you please explain why she appears on run 1463 (other than with a peurile "because she came back"). And why hasn't itchy left anyway? Haven't you managed to offend him yet with yore subtle circle banter? On On Towed
29/11/06 Dear Ass Shite: Apple sent good words which I have edited and embellished a little and published. Wot is Towed going on about? Itchy's last party was to celebrate the departure of Giselle! And why does he tell us only about his dogs? Perhaps his family has finally decided to get a life and buggered off. GM
28/11/06 Deer Assistant Sheitmeister (if that is the exhalted post you still hold), Thought I'd just drop a quick line. My complaint is that I seem to recall Itchy having his last run some months ago. Indeed the T-shirt is still staining the rest of my wardrobe pink. Why is he still there? Duckbill & progeny now out of jail and terrorising peasants & squirrels. Talking of which, I gather that having resolved Nepal's problems he's now been despatched to SL to sort them out. On On Towed
Oh, Pee Ess: Liked the piccies for 1463, especially Griot's dump. Also Apple's trash was suitably succinct. Who is the fit looking half-naked bastard in the main pic next to Griot, obviously feeling the effects of global warming. Oh, Oh, Pee Pee Ess: Love to Tibetgal
25/11/06 Dear ASM. Point to be noted: Steroid was NOT checking false trails on his own initiative. He made the biggest blunder in H4 of following the GM, who, may I add, is one of the Hashers that can be counted on to discover Xs. As seen in the 1462 plan, Steroid did not go on a single false trail - which backs my above claim because the aging GM was too ill to come and run with us. On-On. Doggy w/ Style
25/11/06 Gee Piss! Click to see a profile of Hash 1461, a profile of Hash 1462, and the routes of both hashes recorded by Steroid on his GPS device as he staggered around — proof that he does some checking along false trails! ASM
15/11/06 As no doubtful directions to Hash 1462 have been received yet all is peace in the HHHH world at the moment. GM
FSS 1: Misdirections to 1461
10/11/06 Dear All. As your friendly, dependable, and always totally correct GM, I would like to apologise for Doggy Style's complete inability to describe how to get to his own hashes. This is of course not the first time it has happened - see here about the problems trying to get to a simple place like the Godavari microbus park. (Sorry the link page has been torn up.) GM
10/11/06 Dear Smart Ass Shite Master. Unless if you are interested in setting Hash #1461, we would once again kindly ask you to stop interfering with our Hash planning and simply put the directions that we sent. WE know where the on-in is. You don't. There is NO turnoff to Nag Daha. The on-in is on an open field next to the Dapakhel Road, 3.6KM from the Godavari road turnoff. This is in the vicinity of Nag Daha pond, but down by the pond (erm . . this doesn't make sense to me . . . GM). I finally know why you have difficulty following paper on the runs. Where is your sense of directions? From Ring Road, you don't head south to go to Godavari. You head east. On On. Doggy with Style
10/11/06 Dear Dogshite: Your directions are totally useless as they don't mention the turnoff to Nag Daha!! Also, I've just phoned your office and they said you had gone to America!!! Did you go on a day return ticket? KO
10/11/06 Hey Asst Shite Master. I had sent you proper directions to the Hash #1461 couple days back. However, you chose to put up your own directions, which I think is designed to confuse the Hashers. Leave the job of confusing the Hasher to the Hares during the run, and kindly let them arrive at the On-in without must hassle with the original directions below. And don't be lazy and put a map with the directions. This place is right before the pond where Loverboy set the Hash #1442. On-on. Doggy with Style
FSS 2: Hash 1460:
11/11/06 To KO: Are you always blindly trusting in what your accomplices provide you with? I remember one time I wrote the trash and it was totally pulled to pieces by the GM. We'll definitely sort this issue out, Mr. Editor in Chief. To Gee Ms: Yes I will! And you'll bring a dermatologist along who cures me afterwards?On-on 69
11/11/06 69, You gonna bring soap and a towel this week? C
10/11/06 New improved Trash 1460 just posted with more condom photos. ASM
9/11/06 Dear Keeled Over and Gee Ms, Perhaps it seems to be a minor detail to you bastards who took over the Great H4, however, it proves to me how much the hash-mismanagement has deteriorated lately. Quote: ”Much later it was revealed that one of the newcomers decided to have a bath in the river…oops”, unquote. I’ll leave it to you hack writers to figure out what the nasty lie in this sentence is. Cheers, 69
6/11/06 Dear Assistant Shitemaster: Good work mate [for posting the correspondence from the shite archives below], but a pity you didn't read that one a little earlier or we could have had the Horseradish eradication procedure more regularly. I will see you shortly for another Hash, I hope. Squiz
5/11/06 Notification of Shrivelled's arrival! (From the hash archives). 24/9/04 Dear David, be informed that the beloved RA from the Jerusalem HHH, Shrivelled, landed today in Kathmandu. As soon as he shows up at H4, you might want to get him in the circle and ask him about how wide his nostrils are. And don't forget to have a condom with you; he'll show you a good trick, hopefully. Please keep us posted with his first performance in Nepal, as he has been our RA for over a year in the Middle East! If you want to know more about it, to trash him on his first run there, just let me know, I have loads of stories! On, on, on!, Rotten-Simo-Ovaries, UNWFP occupied Palestinian territory.
1/11/06 Shrivelled! The hashit is yours next Saturday for your orful speling, grammar what is not good and boring choice of on-in site. See ya there! Healed Over
1/11/06 Dear Heeled Over: Hash site for Saturday will be from the same site as where Ingrid and I organised the shortest hash ever.  Sorry about the lack of origionality but I am too busy to go out and find a fresh one. Squizza
26/10/06 10:30 AM BREATH A SIGH OF RELIEF! Keeled Over has stepped into the breach yet again. Run 1459 will take place just below Keeled's Kottage. Thus the chances are good that there will be a Holding Check at the ICIMOD office where the pack will jeer and shout at Tea Cosy and friends as they labour at their desks to come up with a persuasive reason for ducking their responsibilities! GM
26/10/06 9:00 AM URGENT!!!! Tea Cosy has just let the powers that be in this hash (Rotter and Keeled) that she and the ICIMOD hash hordes, having been seriously weakened by a month's Ramadan, are unable to set this coming Saturday's run. We need new Hares!!! GM
17/10/06 Note the new time for Hash 1458 !!! (Anybody take odds on Hurry Krishna being an hour late?)
9/10/06 This refers to the paragraph at the bottom of Trash 1455: Dear GM, I have it on good authority (my own) that Crazy German caught the Thai flight to Bangkok on Sunday! He obviously just came to Kathmandu to sample one of the famous Lao Lover & Co runs...... Lao Lover (from Laos, where else?)
3/10/06 Come on you people! Write me some elegant witty prose to publish here and push Towed's crap down to the bottom of the page and well out of view. You know the rules 1) No disparaging comments about the GM, 2) No other rules except as the GM may bestow from time to time. OnOn GM
3/10/06 Hey Tea Cosy, why not do a hash on the 14th after sunset! Glow-in-the-dark paper is certainly made, although I don't know whether you can get it here. I suppose we could resort to carrying flashlights. Come to think about it we could do special Lent runs for the Chrissies with no snacks or beer. And for the Hindus but much more cheery - raksi being an integral part of almost all their ceremonies. OnOn GM
3/10/06 Dear GM, My ICIMOD colleagues are requesting if we can set the Hash on Oct. 28, not 7, as most of them will just be coming back from the Dashain holidays on the 7th, and our Pakistani colleagues are on a month-long Ramadan fast which should be over by the 28th. • Keeled, hope your toe is back in shape. • On-on, Tea Cosy & Co.
4/10/06 Thanks Keeled. I was also astounded to get to the end of the writing and find I was further down the page than the last picture. I shall call it my Towed mowed. I support you in your river quest to get finally rid of the bugs in the big toe. But what about the problems with your mind? OnOn GM
4/10/06 Dear GM, I am astounded at the comprehensibility of Trash 1455! When did you learn to write? and when was the last time you wrote a trash! Keeled (threatening to return after his foot heals up once he has taken the healing waters of the Karnali). OO KO
4/10/06 Hi GM,

Wanted to send you this thing after reading your shout in the webshite.

Caption: Hopefully H4 will be like this in the near future.

Just trying to make webshite a little funnier and a bit more attractive than pics of old guys running around in shorts.

On-On HairStyle
3/10/06 My Dear Towed, Your email of complaint came in just after I had uploaded next week's run info. It is the middle of Dashain. I have had a hangover or two. I am now going to publish Trash 1455 after I have written whatever I can recall (not much). Anyway, what on earth do you need to know about our runs for now? You now being a past (it) HHHH harrier. OnOn GM
3/10/06 Not sure whether the subject is me (for being the only correspondent you have) or the contents of your internet outlet. Am I the only person that is bored enough to write? Why are you still advertising your next run as happening three days ago? Shame, really, that it was Keeled's thinking area that was infected and not the big shiny bit. Obviously the onus (spelled with an 'o', you'll note) of maintaining the shite has been too much for you.

What's all this crap about competitive team hashing that appeared in last week's trash? You're allowing MOB (Mad Ozzie Bastard) rule and the introduction of even more unacceptable hashing practices. Its bad enough him bringin' beautiful wimmin along. Get a grip - yore the Gee Emm Towed

3/10/10 Towed prattles on. Continuing on from The Bastard: So nothing is off the record then! The second mail was supposed to be personal to you, not for the whole of fucking cyberspace. (TU didn't know about the condom incident!) I doubt anyway if too many of my family keep up with the doings of the HHHH anyway, only the sad old fart. I suppose you'll bloody post this as well. On On Towed
3/10/06 Ha! Just remembered your query on what condom it was. Does anyone there know what happened to the vibro jobby? I haven't got it! Towed again
3/10/06 P'rhaps it's stuck up somewhere. GM
27/9/06 Oh where art you Towed? (condensed mode) Just to let all on the HHHH know that once again I've abandoned Towed Under, Custard Tart etc and am now back in Jakarta for 6 months. Anyone passing is welcome to get in touch. • TU and CT are back in UK in our old house in UK (lynda.burton22@virgin.net), Tadpole's at Edinburgh Uni and we're waiting for him to sober up and Head Chopper has taken Tadpole's place in the Scottich jail. Duckbill and progeny have another 2 months to serve before they're out on parole and our shipment is somewhere. • Found out that the friday hash now runs on saturdays so will be able to make it . On On Towed
29/7/06 Oh where fart you Towed? (Long and Boring Trash Scribe Mode) Thank you. sir, for your kind consideration. (this refers to me offering to publish any ramblings which T might send to me - GM) This is a slightly more wordy and, dare I say it, sensible response. • The Towed family is now settling in to its new and distinctly fragmented life. I'm here in Jakarta taking on an ADB loan management project, TU is back in our own house at last in Blighty and setting up to spend oodles on it that we probably cannot afford but that it needs. Custard Tart is with her, settling in to new school and scary UK teen life, Head Chopper has just completed his first expedition weekend at Gordonstoun and claims to be working hard and have lost weight and Tadpole is slowly sobering up after freshers week in Edinburgh. You know your kids are growing up when you wash their stuff and a condom falls out of their pocket in the dryer (as happenned when Tadpole visited me in Jamaica!) (it wasn't by any chance your vibrating device? GM) Not sure of the impact on permeability of a hot white wash and 40 minute autodry! Duckbill and progeny are still in jail somewhere near Nuneaton - up before the parole board on 11th Nov and should be released the following day. • Hope all is well with you and yours - best wishes to them all and, if you insist, to the rest of the hash. oN oN AGAIN. tOWED
26/9/06 The bastard will go to any lengths for free beer. Presumably he was miffed because he didn't get his usual free d-d after the run. • Went hashing again at last on Saturday. Outside Jakarta in sight of volcanoes. • l also sent a message to Keeled but the miserable bugger didn't publish it. Presumably you'll give this one the same treatment. On On Towed

24/9/06 Yogi Hare exceeds himself! Soon after Hash 1453, which included two crossings of the Bagmati and a long stretch of sewage-soaked mud in between, Keeled Over's big toe became a pain. A couple of days later the swelling was enough for him to reach for the antibiotics. But they didn't work! So he was admitted to Patan Hospital to have the stuff shot into him. There was little progress until the GM arranged for the Hash Drip shown below. This treatment was so successful that the hospital has told Keeled to sweep up the broken glass and hop out by Monday morning. GM

10/9/06 Yogi's last hash: Namaste! I would like to set the coming hash. This is most probably my last hash before I go to Singapore for teaching Yoga. So I want to make it a memorable one (ed: oh, oh!) I will never forget all the hashers and wherever I am I will remember the golden moments on the hash. I will set the upcoming hash similar to hash 1390 in July 2005, at the North end of the Airport. Yogi Hare
7/9/06 A note from Grumblewald: Hi guyes [sick] Yet another boring Hash weekend where you are drowning your selves in beer and mud. Nothing new about the HHHH. But any way, look at the video from 1986 how the really hard core did it in the old days. Enjoy Grumble [to the right: hash T-shirt image of Grumble in his prime]
6/9/06 Karnali Rafting Trip: Me and my son have booked to go rafting down the Karnali from 4-13 October. Its a fantastic trip that passes through wild countryside and many Grade IV rapids. Ultimate Descents offer a special rate for resident ex-pats. Contact Keeled Over if you are interested in joining us. Keeled Over

Stop Press!!!!

26/8/06 0930hrs Yogi Hare has just phoned to say that, due to the Teej festival (down-downs for all Harriettes), the ring road between Gaushala and Chahabil is closed to northbound traffic. Alternative routes are: a) approach the Chahabil intersection from Maharajganj, b) if coming from the south, leave the ring road on the Bhaktapur road then turn first left, bend to the right after 1km or so and pass the Pepsi factory, turn left at the crossroads in old Thimi, go through Bhode and down across the Manohara bridge, keep going on the pitch road until it hits the Chabahil-Sankhu road and turn right. Confused? I'll try and get a map posted soon. GM

18/8/06 Lame performance? Did I miss something in the Bagmati Eco-Challenge report or did the writers have major problems choosing the right words to describe their performance? What was so 'sterling' about a performance that included: a) being beaten by 6 out of 9 competitors; b) one short cutting bastard ending up in Ratna Park with some lame flat-tire excuse (did all the bike shop owners between Balaju and Budhanilkantha close shop to watch the amazing race?) c) Another cyclist getting lost on a trail that was not marked by Lover Boy; and d) one runner being pushed along by the ambulance. This is an absolute shame to HHHH and they all deserve a down-down for it. Doggy 'with' Style aka KarmaSutra
18/8/06 Amazing performance: read about the sterling performance of the hash team in the Bagmati Eco-challenge by clicking here. KO
15/8/06 Dear Doggy: The idea was that you paid young Christopher to take on your hash name so as you could get rid of it . You're stuck with it now mate! KO
9/7/06 Photos wanted: In the absence of the GM send any good photos from the hash -- especially ones taken during the running part-- to Keeled Over. KO
10/7/06 Dear Towed: You will also have noticed that since you and Grumblewald left we have started getting many more younger people on the hash including our very own Gee Ms. Oh and what have you done to Towed Under's farewell gift? You weren't trying it out yourself were you and wore out the battery? Keeled
9/7/06 Dear Keeled, It sems like I've only been away a week or two and the Hash has gone to Rack and Rooney. Not content with letting women on the hash, (which I understand only happened when the GM received a lot of pressure after allowing dogs on the hash) it now appears that you've got a Grand Mattress. What on earth is the Gee Emm thinking about (although looking at the main pic for run 1442 I have some ideas). Who are all these people anyway - were they all loitering around waiting for me to leave or are they just a bunch of Shrivelled's mates? Also, we lost Towed Under's farewell gift. Can you email me another? Yours in shock Towed.

3/7/06 Yet another tribute to the Himalayan Hash: I am sorry we did not make it to Saturday's hash. It is one of our favourite On-In sites, but we had so much to do packing up after 4 1/2 years. We have so much enjoyed our stay here in Nepal and especially the hash. We will almost certainly be back in a couple of years for a long visit and will catch up with you then. All the best, Roger (Roger Rabbit)

2/7/06 The GeeMizz has agreed to stand in for the GM. Next week's run fee will be doubled in order to buy her a megaphone, and all songs will be moved up two octaves. GM
22/4/06 GM 1982-84 Rediscovers H4 Click here to read a recent missive from David Shannon in which he reports theft of a Hash Rubber Stamp and attempts to sell old T-Shirts. GM
04/6/06 Volunteers needed: With the sad passing away of a number of hard core hashers, such as Grumblewald and the Toweds, we are getting a bit short of people to set the hash. Setting a hash is not such a big deal and it doesn't matter if everything goes disastrously wrong — that would just be in the true spirit of the hash. Keeled Over
13/5/06 Paper urgently needed: Although there has been a trend towards paperless hashes recently — especially the ones set by Griot — we do need more shredded paper as our supplies are running out. Donations welcome from any nationality. The GM
25/6/06 The road to Run 1441 There are extensive road works on the Bhaisepatti road starting 200m from the Ring Road. As I write this piles of stones are being dumped and a grader spreading them around to create a slippery morass. Athough Facelift and I got through quite easily this morning, if rain starts it would be very difficult for sedans, and there may be a big jam. I have therefore updated the map - here - to show an alternative route which is winding, but in fairly good condition. Quick instructions: turn south off the ring road at the junction south of Patan Hospital. Go a bendy 250m then, where the main road bends left go straight and down. Keep on this road, crossing Nakhudol bridge, and going left and up. Bend around for a bit. At the end of the wall to the big training centre turn right. After 200m reach blacktop. Then turn up left and reach the main Bhaisepatti road. Turn left and proceed to the OnOn. Rotter
15/6/06 Kruelji If only you consulted the shite regularly you would see that I had already corrected trash 1438 to give the correct score. In light of your griping I have now changed the score back to minus 9.9. So there! Keeled

15/6/06 Dear GM, They say stress affects short-term memory. It appears from the numbers in Trash 1438 that Keeled-Over needs a relaxing holiday.  I only suffered under three, not five older sisters as a youth. And I am proud to say that the hash I set on June 3rd received not 9.9 as Keeled wrote, but the lowest marks in recent hash history--1.8! 9.9 was the number of beers Keeled had consumed during the circle, and 5 was the number he consumed while writing the trash!  On-on, Kruel

08/6/06 Dear GM: I really enjoyed yesterday's impromptu socialising after I came to pick up hash paper from your place. However, the object of the exercise was defeated as I got so pissed that I failed to attach the bag of hash paper firmly enough to my motorbike. So, I arrived home to find only an empty plastic bag there. I hope that the trail of paper from your place to mine via the Ring Road does not interfere with your plans for Saturday's hash route. On-on KO

01/6/06 Dear Asst Shitemeister, I just want to say thanks for the magnificent send off that you gave the Towed Horde (and to thank you for spelling "horde" without the "w" and with the "e" and "d" the right way round). I would also like to thank the hash for the most generous farewell gift. Am in the process of adapting my laptop charger (as they say) so that a 12 volt AC/DC power supply can be provided on a continuous basis. Yours in anticipation, Towed

30/5/06 Nagarkot run: The Club Himalaya, Nagarkot and Nepal Athletics Association are organising 10 km and half-marathon footraces from Bhaktapur to Nagarkot on Saturday 10 June, starting at 7.30 am. Click here for details. This is completely unrelated to Yogi's attempted Nagarkot run that was thwarted by the weather a couple of weeks ago. Keeled Over
29/5/06 Notice to Towed: Please go to the trash for last Saturday's run for a response to your recent communique. On-on! KO
26/5/06 Dear Assistant Shitemaster, I have had to write to you as it appears that the GM is not publishing my incisive comments on life on the hash as it appears from afar. I know about the condoms with the ring.  Bought one once but nobody rang, so I've still got it. On-On, Off-Off Towed (in Jamaica)
20/5/06 Vibrating condoms! Today's Kathmandu Post reports that Dip Jyoti International Pvt Ltd has launched Vicon vibrating condoms with ring onto the Nepalese market. Apparently the ring can be used separately! Could anyone let the GM know if they understand what this is all about. Keeled Over
18/5/06 The ultimate holding check: Shrivelled set the highest holding check in the world at 10.45am this morning after reaching the summit of Mount Everest. Well done old bean! Click here to read all about it. KO
17/05/06 Saturday's hash bash notice: Click here to find out more about the knees up after Saturday's hash. Please email Tibetgal if you will be coming letting her know how many under and over-12s. I do wonder about Itchy and Tibetgal's grasp of geography though. Since when did the Bering Straights become a Scandie colony? KO
10/5/06 Fast Forward's and Squizza's progress: The two old hashers are progressing on their epic journeys. Squizza made it to Camp 3 at 7200m on 6 May whilst it looks like Fast Forwards is on the verge of completing his 1000 km run across Austria raising money for MSF. What does Unterstützen mean? On-on! KO
26/3/06 The Big One. FRB Shrivelled is going for the big one and has promised to set the highest holding check in the world at 8,850m (29,035 feet) if he makes it to the top. It is a sponsored climb to raise money for food aid for needy kids in Nepal. Go to www.fighthunger.org/everest to find out how to sponsor him. Weather permitting he's aiming to summit on 21 May. KO
28/3/06 Dear fellow hashers, The race is on and can be seen on the website www.run-for-lives.at. Luckily it is in German, so do enjoy the pictures. Running works out well and I look forward to the start at the 15th April. Although actually it has started already, it might really take of good with many people joining me or organising their own runs across the country. Cheers to all. On On. Fast Forward
12/5/06 Diane needs a lift to Saturday's hash. I guess that she could wait at Koteshwor to be picked up. Please email her and give her your phone number if you can help. KO
1/5/06 News from Towed: The shite has just received a lengthy communique from Towed in Jamaica. It is too long to post here so please click on the words long and boring to read Towed's views on Squizza's progress, his tongue, his 5-year old daughter, ultraviolet radiation, scientific accuracy, hashing in Jamaica, and his strategy to avoid coming on the H4. KO
5/5/06 Grab a bargain! One slightly soiled large purple hash T-shirt for sale at a 10 rupees discount. Only worn once. Contact the GM for details. KO
1/5/06 Got fleeced...
Towed Under may not have had the fleeces at Saturday's hash, but nevertheless we still got fleeced. The Medium Tshirts we bought there turned out to be smaller than the Mediums that were sold previously. And the current stock does not come with the "Himalayan Hash House Harriers, Kathmandu Nepal" lettering on the back. How much is the Hash adding to its cash stack (under your bed) by cutting the Tshirt sizes and removing the print on the back? Yours disgruntedly, Rabi
28/4/06 Get fleeced! The new lot of hash fleeces should be ready for picking up at next Saturday's hash. Please come and pay me and claim them. Towed Under
28/4/06 Constitutional Assembly etc: A constitutional assembly will be held (as always) after tomorrow's run to see about removing the power of the GM to award down-downs arbitrarily to anyone in the circle. KO
26/4/06 Buck ride: The buck ride will go on as planned on Saturday 29th of April. Bikers start from the Norwegian Ambassador's resident at 09.00 and walkers from Hattiban resort at 09.00 The deadline for registration has been extended to April 27th at 12.00. Hope to see you at Hattiban. Margaret
24/4/06 Baloon going up? The Himalayan Hash proudly remains one of the few functioning institutions left in this benighted country. Click here for a brief account of last Saturday's hash. By the way, Towed may be flying in from Jamaica for next week's hash and for the important business of getting his dogs out of the country. He will apparently be leaving his family behind! On-on KO
21/4/06 Hash beer shortage! THE HASH MUST GO ON in the current trying circumstances. But, what do we do if the beer runs out? There is talk that the American Embassy may soon bring into action its contingency plan to airlift in supplies of Sam Adams, or whatever is the name of the swill that the Americans drink in place of beer. The hash will expect to get a reserved allocation. KO
19/4/06 Who was Henrik Ibsen? (link removed) to learn more about a mountain bike race and a walk that the local Scandies are organising on the morning of 29 April as a warm-up for that day's hash. KO
22/4/06 Hash 1432 location changed -- in light of the uncertain political situation today's hash for a constituent assembly will be run from Keeled's Kottage -- see above. It is not recommended to drive there via Satdobato junction as it has been a bit of a brick-hurling hotspot. Also, it's a bring your own beer and soft drinks hash. The Inner Circle has still to decide whether or not there will be a corkage charge. Keeled Over at 0950 am
19/4/06 Hash 1432: is scheduled from Rotter's New Roost. Plan B is to have it out at Keeled's at Dholahiti if there is a curfew or anything else untowards, such as the cement not being dry on Potter's Patio. KO
10/3/06 David, It would be nice if you and your fellow hashers from Nepal could come down to Kodi for the Aug 12 - 14 Weekend. Promise you a fabulous time. Click here for some details. Look forward to hearing from you. On On. Vinod "Beep Beep" Reddy, Madras Hash House Harriers
15/4/06 Hash 1431 is on: Rotter has just been to check out today's hash and it is definitely on. However, there seems to be very few cars about; so get on your bike or motorbike or walk there! We expect a good turnout. Show your solidarity with hash democracy. End autocracy! Long live the banana republic!! KO
8/4/06 Hash curfew breakers: The Fox, Nobbie Stiles, Mats, and Margret braved all and turned up at Keeled's on Saturday afternoon just as he was settling down to a lazy afternoon. They persuaded him to lead a curfew-breaking hash along the Bal Kumari Tuesday run trail whilst Rani took walkers Margret, Lieve, Christopher and some local puchies over the Nakhu to Keeled Acres and back. Some people just don't check the shite often enough! Tommorrow's hash will go on whatever. We will decide on the time after listening to the 8am news on Radio Nepal on Sunday morning. Click here for the trash for 1430. On-on KO
13/4/06 Hares needed: Since Itchy has cancelled for the coming Saturday (Hash 1431)... WE NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT! Kent can you contact the GM if you can do it. On-on, perhaps. KO
30/3/06 Note that Itchy's Ball is moved to 15 April as the 8th is in the middle of the forthcoming strike.
9/4/06 Hash 1430: After a hash on Saturday, and today Sunday with a turnout of 10 dedicated hashers - the Inner Circle is thinking of having a hash every day in solidarity against regression and autocracy until something gives (probably Rotter's knees). Please let the Inner Circle know what you think. Definitely from Keeled's on Tuesday. Could someone organise one on Monday at either 7am or 5.30pm? Contact Keeled Over if you can. KO
11/4/06 Tuesday run 5.45 start: I have just heard that the curfew only runs to 5 pm today and so the Tueday run will start a little later to give you time to cycle over. Please check when the curfew ends and if any of you are suffering from cabin fever why not come over and join in the 'fun' at Dholahiti. Keeled Over
30/3/06 Dear GM. Are Fat Forward and Shrivelled having a race? I wonder who will reach their destination first? KO
9/4/06 Hash on Sunday!