The Rules of the Hash
1. When three or more are gathered together for diverse purposes of running after a trail of paper and the subsequent consumption of ale then the event shall be called an Hash. Similarly a group of persons, the individuals of which shall be called hounds, formed for the hereinbefore described purpose shall be known as the Hash House Harriers. This heretofore mentioned group shall possess no formal constitution nor shall its office bearers (q.v.) possess any formal rights or owe any formal duties as a result of their office.
2. The offices of the Hash shall be designated as hereunder:
Hash Grand Master/Mistress. This honorary title shall be bestowed upon the hound with the highest number of runs who is still running with the Hash.
Hash Master/Mistress shall be the title of the person responsible for the organisation of the Hash. Qualification - should be the possessor of a loud voice and overbearing manner.
Hash Cash shall be the title of the person responsible for the collection and payment of monies due to the Hash. Qualification - should be able to add up and take away even when drunk.
Hash Horn shall be the title of the person responsible for keeping the hounds together in a reasonable pack. He/she is assisted in this by his/her horn. Qualification - an abundance of excess wind.
Hash Booze - shall be the title of the person responsible for providing the said liquid refreshment. Qualification - Broad shoulders, thick skin and boundless patience.
Hash Scribe otherwise known as Hash Trash shall be the title of the person responsible for the regular write-up of the events of the Hash. Qualification - below average intelligence but an ability to write an advantage.
3. The Trail. There shall be a man sent before the Hash, who shall be called the Hare, whose purposes shall be to lay the trail.
4. The trail shall be marked by a deposit of shredded paper. (Secrets in this form can be obtained from either the British or American Embassies. The other Embassies either do not have any secrets or are being tight-lipped on the matter).
5. The trail shall be layed with the aforementioned shredded paper and should start within 50 meters of the chariots. This is a courtesy (the only one in hashing) to latecomers and those with failing eyesight.
6. Handfuls of shredded paper shall be deposited approximately every ten metres (this reassures those who are concerned about losing their way) preferably in the most obnoxious medium it is possible to find (shit is ideal) along the chosen trail.
7. Checks shall be defined by two circular blobs of shredded paper one either side of the trail. (Once again preferably in some obnoxious medium).
8. Holding checks shall be defined by three circular blobs of shredded paper.
9. The trail shall start again within 200 meters of the check.
10. False trails may also be used from a check. These should not run for more than 200 meters and the end of them shall be defined by an arrow head pointing back along the false trail. The trail cannot start from a false trail, only from the check.
11. The home trail sign is a circle with an attached arrow pointing the way to the chariots.
12. Hashes should last for approximately 45 mins; this means that when recceing, walking time should be approximately 1 hr 15 min.
13. Loops are a good idea. Take the front runners around three sides of a square and let the SCB's run along the one remaining side. On the other hand complete circles and crossing over a trail are to be avoided. Many hounds are simple-minded souls and some have been known to spend hours running round and round in circles after a trick like that. This sometimes causes an unpleasant scene at the On-On-On when revenge is sought on the Hare for the loss of good drinking time.
14. Back checks are also good as this allows the geriatrics amongst us to catch up.
15. Approximately five or six checks should be used on a hash.
16. Hash Calls:
"On-On", otherwise known as the baying of the hounds, is shouted by all hounds at all times when they are following paper. (This is not observed anywhere near well enough).
"Are you" is a request to know if any of the hounds is on paper, the replies are:
"Checking" if a hound is looking for paper, or
"On-On" if a hound has found paper.
17. Horn Calls:
Rapid toots is the equivalent of "On-On"
Steady continuous note is sounded on arrival of the check.
Steady continuous note falling at the end is sounded on discovery of a false trail.
18. Hash Terms:
Hound shall be the general term for a participant.
S.C.B. shall be the abbreviation for short-cutting bastard which is obvious really.
Hashit shall be the award presented on each run for the most memorable, humorous, or infamous deed.
Chariots shall be the general term for participants cars.
On-On shall be the term for the post-run gathering.
On-On-On shall be the term for the evening's activities after the post-run gathering.
Hash Etiquette. The Hash is strictly non-competitive (as far as running is concerned anyway) so anything that remotely resembles racing will be looked upon with disgust.
20. If you are the first to arrive at the check point, wait for some others to arrive before running off and check. In this way the pack stands a better chance of holding together.
21. If you come across a holding check please wait there until the rest of the pack have also arrived. Remember the Hash is a social event.
22. If you are the first to discover a trail away from a check shout "On-On" good and loud and keep shouting it until the others hear you. If necessary stand still and shout until the other hounds catch you up.
23. This is a mixed hash so male hounds should turn their backs on female hounds whilst relieving themselves. (and vice versa - OK Jedi, Hayden? - GM)
24. Hares should avoid setting checks in villages or other noisy places where the inability to hear calls from hash participants inevitably results in chaos and people getting lost.
25. Parking. Hares should choose a run site where there is enough room for at least 15 chariots. It is always much better and safer to avoid the edge of a busy main road.
26. Dogs should be kept well under control when we are parked by a road and we have a local audience. We don't want the kids to suddenly panic and run under an oncoming vehicle.
27. Please don't run through cultivated fields. The locals do not appreciate it.
Written by Rob Elvery in 1986 or 1987. Interpreted by John Waldron. Original publication illustrated by Marieke Alkema. Prepared for the webshite by David Potter.