Himalayan Mens Hash Run No 0098 Monday 7 September 1981
Location Cement factory, Chobar Hares Dibley and Van De Putte
Hashit Not awarded Scribe Shannon Hashers 38

Hares Dibley and Van de Puttd really did us up in style this week by bringing the British Gurkha Transit Artillery Battalion up to the heights to announce the start of the 98th Hash with a booming salute. Indeed, we did deserve this honor as a record 38 hardy souls showed up - including 7 first-timers and a record 9 Yanks.

HEY! NO RAIN WOWEE! Good thing too - this run in the rain would have been a muddy bitch. As the reverberation of cannon fire died away, we trotted off uphill, downhill, overhill, sidehill, on and on.... HEY! Whatever happened to the traditional first quick check? After what seemed like about two kilometers we must have been all of 200 meters from the chariots when we finally found the first check. Scouts went up the hill and further along the hill - only to find false trails - so reluctantly we began to search down the hillside when Dave McMullen found the real paper and off we jogged to the west. One problem was noted with such a long opening sprint.... by the time we got moving again, most of our poor out-of-training lungs were too friggin’ winded to even yell “On-On.” This meant a quieter Hash than usual except for the noteable exception of HM Russell and his tinny tooter.

Off we went to the west, and the west, toward the west, and on to the west....... and where the hell is the next check? The runners out front finally found the second check about 200 meters after they passed it. DK found the false trail to the south -“Good” we all said and took off with grinning faces after McMullen who led us north. SHIT another false trail! This actually turned out to be a nice check though since the false trails screwed the lead runners around enough to allow the rest of the group to reassemble and go off together on the real trail to the south towards the village of Carghare. This hole might better have been named Shitsburg, or perhaps Turdville, or maybe Manurestown... how about Defacationston Crap City?.. New Poopstown? What a disgusting mess this place was! It sort of takes some of the thrill out of the old game when you have to spend half your energy making sure you don’t belly-flop into some local Ascaris breeding project.

The third check was a tough one right there in our favorite village, and the hares had to put some of us onto the right track before the outrunners got too far ahead. Since by this time we were half way to Kirtipur it was obviously time to begin the trek back to the beer, HO! HO - the hares thought they had laid a challenging trail.... well the local citizenry decided to add their ten paisa worth as they industriously gathered up the hares’ paper and laid an alternate hash which nearly split our crowd on two different trails.

The hares tried to keep us on the right track, but by now we had caught the scent of home and many didn’t give a damn which trail they followed as long as it led east. At one point there were two distinct groups slogging along parallel ridges taunting one another until one turned out to be a false trail. This crowd had to stagger quickly down the hillside to catch the main body which headed up a particularly nasty mountain-o-muck. HA! FALSE TRAIL AGAIN.

It was John Perrott and Nella Kcir (remember him?) who got us onto the right track through the paddies back to the highway. The Hone Stretch. Well, almost — one last diversion near the cement plant and over the suspension bridge... RIGHT!... we were within pissin’ distance of the chariots and no one was about to be suckered into false trail across the Bagmati. However, that piss would have to be UPHILL. Apparently the hares thought we had coasted into the finish too often in the last few runs, so they made this finish damn near straight up ... HUFF & PUFF... McMullen in the lead...Frandsen, King, the scribe and DK.. chugging along into the finish.

What to say about this run? Plenty of superlatives.., most runners, most first-timers, most Yanks, most truly misleading false trails, longest run to first check, longest run to last check, best opening salute, steepest goddam mountain for a finish, and most noteworthy - the most shit in a single short stretch of trail… and if it hadn’t turned dark so quickly we might have tried for most frosties finished.

A VERY SAD FAREWELL TO GUY STONE - with over 50 runs since number 7- his first. The only hare to single-handedly lay a hash with neither paper nor beers - and then he and Fallon did number 84 without paper too -whatever they were laying over there at Swyambu apparently wasn’t paper... and speaking of those lovely ladies, I haven’t seen them around for some time..., do you suppose Stone is hedging his bets in DC and sent them on ahead in the diplomatic pouch????

WALKING STICK: Pagella is hanging in there with it- he thinks he’ll get his 50th hash for free if he keeps it long enough.
HASHIT - Not awarded — we don’t pass out these goodies every week.