Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No 1027 Saturday 21 November 1998
Location Slow Drip's house Hares Half-Hash and Slow Drip
Hashit Half-Hash
Scribe Rambo Hashers ?

I Have Returned

Run 1027 marked the full Hash return of the notorious Half-Hash, so named because of his stellar reputation for short cutting in an ongoing effort to be first to crack open the amber nectar so beloved as a raison d' etre for Hashing in the first place! Half-Hash and his partner Slow Drip from frozen tundra land, the land of snow and Canucks, set the run. It was a run of constant back checks, which is a hallmark of Half-Hash runs. Half-Hash does not set the classic Hash big loop. Rather, he sets runs like a bicycle wheel, with lots of spokes. No doubt he hires small children, gives them a rupee, and sends them off down the spokes with a small bag of shredded paper, giving them explicit instructions to mark two "phul" (egg) circles about 500 meters down the way. That way, Half-Hash can park himself under a bodhi tree and contemplate bank loans while sipping a cold one, preferably a Labatt Blue. It actually is an ingenious way to set a run but most of us hounds are just too dumb to figure it out. No, we blithely gallop down the spokes with tongue lolling in dog-fashion and then gallop back when we figure out that we merely extended a falsie spoke by another 500 meters. A Half-Hash run is good for the back runners though, since they are usually in the unusual and consistent position of being front runners. Anyway, we enjoyed ourselves, because at the end most of us just walked

the damn thing anyway. At least that was the position of the Scribe, who witnessed everything from the very back, laboring under the strain of having eaten 5 kilos of mutton curry and rice, accompanied by copious quantities of nectar, just prior to the run. He saw it all with Half-Hash, who of course volunteered to sweep the laggards, because that involves walking, while Slow Drip, one of the best dry rice field short cutters, kept up with the bewildered front runners. The On-On-On at Slow Drip's house was as advertised, a great party for the hard core Hashers who can listen to Slow Drip's Louisiana blues tunes at full mega-speaker volume for the umpteenth millionth time. But we like it, especially the part with the tubas, which is the GM Finger in the Dyke's favorite part. Maybe the tubas remind him of all those "oompah" bands in Holland. First Mate did a down down for wearing new shoes because hubby Lord Admiral Nelson squealed on her. The Circle high priests took mercy on her and did not make her drink out of the shoe (lucky girl, to receive such an unusual reprieve). Half-Hash received the Hashit-forgot the reason why. At least he passed out more Tabacaleras, so the Scribe ain't complainin', and the fish ain't bitin' either, right Slow Drip? Full Moon served tasty fare that was enjoyed by all. The new babu Hash Horrors seemed to take everything in stride.