|Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No 1061||Saturday 26 June 1999|
|Location||Surya Binayak||Hares||The Fox|
No mugs, no horn, no hashit, missed e-mail -- In record time of 0.32 seconds FINGERINTHEDIKE gets the HASHIT (yet again.) HALF HASH must be worried that his Monday Hashit record will crumble. Better return! Perhaps we need another position in the Hash Mismanagement: Hash Grand Master's Gateman. If they were offered suitable remuneration, Danny and Sarbang could take turns at manning the gate on Saturday afternoons, and not allowing the Hash Chariot out of the yard until the Hash Paraphernaila has been certified as really stowed in the chariot. One hates to think of what would have happened to the Grimminck Family Breadwinner should he have forgotton the booze! (Yep yep yep.... the only thing he really thinks about).
The ancient and sacred hash location brought out an eager pack of 20+ runners and several fans, there for a blessing or to check out local picnic parties. We were specially happy to have the ENLIGHTENED TOURIST AND SON JAMES join the group and complete the circuit. They and APPLE, though late arrivals, counted on their excellent Hash memories to get them around the course without untoward incidents. Less experienced runners were less fortunate. SLOW DRIP made a special trip from Manila; and after a brief but somewhat hectic stop in Thailand, graced the gathering.
The run started right on time with the usual climb towards the pass. A back check 2/3 of the way up fooled almost no one, but David Potter was spotted stumbling out of the bushes right at the pass. The pack coasted into the next valley and off left to check 2. ROAD RUNNER would have enjoyed checking here but he was distracted in the forest above the picnic spots at check 1, so came late. MOBY DICK did the needful and climbed to the summit while Pushy Galore wisely stayed level and found paper along a somewhat slippery trail which again joined the main road most of the shortcutters had followed. The pack thoroughly enjoyed the Royal Nepales Army obstacle course and gleefully climbed to check 3 and on above. STATS AND SLOW DRIP had ALMOST solved the world's baseball problems when they arrived at the chaotic scene. Experienced noses in the air quickly smelled the beer-scented paper at the backcheck and off they went AHEAD of the whole pack. Simon made the almost fatal mistake of following his father up the hill so was the last to start the climb to holding check 4 on the pass. Paper was obvious and the pack raced to check 5, another easy back check. The wise skipped the drop to check 6 and the final climb to the temple.
Victim of the day: Pushy Galore, who at the heroic check 2 picked up a leech. Hero of the Day: MEGABYTE who gaciously begged salt from some picnicers and removed the leech. Best fed of the day: The leech.
The On On went well thanks to the easy Hashit decision of replacing the missing mugs by the popcorn container. There were no jokes though one was sloshing around in SLOW DRIP'S head. Maybe we'll get it next week. MR. ED left early to get to a party at the Yak and Yeti -- an acceptable excuse.
A preacher was telling his congretation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human exerience could be found there. After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS." The preachers replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and that he would look for it. The
followng week after the service, the preacher called the woman aside and said PMS is in the Bible. He showed her a passage which read, "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."
Not much of a joke, maybe, but this is a SERIOUS matter. If the preacher is correct, then somewhere in the scriptures and sacred writings of the world's great religions there must be some referenc to HASH, HASH HOUSE HARRIERS, AND HASHIT.
Can you find such references? Because this is basic research, the Hash Mismanagement gives you until Saturday, July 17, after the Religious Advisor has returned from a Vipassana retreat, to complete your assignment. There will be BIG PRIZES for correct answers. Imagine what such research will do for the status of the Hash, not to mention the help to better understanding of the said great religions.
Your are allowed to ask your pastor/guru for help, but if you are tossed out of the congregation the Hash Mismanagement cannot be held responsible.
TRULY serious news: We hear that famous Hasher JURGEN DOERNFELD is sick and will undergo surgery Monday, June 28. We pray for his quick and complete recovery and suggest that as part of his recuperation he visit Nepal.
GM's (Grand Master - Supreme leader of a Hash chapter) reply (not defence) to the above noted accusation:
Right, let's put things strait (circle I mean of course). Anyone of you ever have read the Hash rules of the Hash House Harriers? Of course not!!, and I now hear silence falling upon the pack.
Rules of the Hash House Harriers (excerpts) as written by Don Kennedy, On Sec, 1950
That above mentioned rule is grossly violated by the Himalayan Hash House Harriers could be evidently seen at last Saturday's run when the Grand Master (Finger In The Dike) arrived at the parking lot at Suriya Binayak. The Grand Master (who is good for all together some 638 runs, Men's and Mixed) had to record the pack's names (done by his son), cashing the fees, handing out hash stats and organizing the usual motley pack for the start of the run. After the run, the GM first had to replenish the level of amber liquid left in his body before being able to commence the rest of his ( his only) task such as forcing the pack to forrrm a circle and take part in the usual ceremony of down down's. The Grand Master also supplies the paper and forwards the weekly Hash Trash write ups from the hares to the Hash members. All the GM had forgotten that particular day were the mugs and the Hashit but not the bottle openers as his Nissan Patrol carries at least 5 of them on its doors.