Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1246

9 November 2002

Location Rotters Roost, Nakhipot Virgins Sachi, Noah, Tshiring, Ivan, Punam
Hares Rotter New Comers Michel, Lyz, Jules
Hashers 60 Leavers  
Hashit Bog Trotter Returnees Marina
Trash Towed Trashflash Hillary, Rotter

The Pictures

The Trash

Once again the cunning of the Hash triumphed over the attempts of the forces of evil to disrupt the usual smooth running of this historic and cultural event. I speak, of course, of the teachers. Once again, children were forced into school on a Saturday but through a cunning ploy of starting at four o'clock disruption to this important character-building event (the Hash, not school) was avoided. Not content with trying to disrupt the Hash through preventing the children attending, a bomb scare had been arranged to close the ring road at the Nakhipot turning at 3.30. They had not anticipated the cunning of the Master in choosing a location to live where there was more than one access road.

So it was that 60 Hashers were gathered on the lawns of Rotter's Roost, slightly delayed but not downhearted. Nine checks were announced with 3, 5 and 6 holding (more on the reliability of such information later) and lots of false trails. First paper was to the south and check one at the end of the road. Those hashers used to running in this area were not fooled by the check at all and headed straight on to paper on the Tuesday Fast Hash in-trail. However, there was so much paper and so many false trails and so many trails to run on it is not clear to me where checks 2 and 3 occurred, if at all. All I know is that they weren't on the long false trail down to the river, which I should have known as that was where last week's trail had been. The trail was bound to run along the khulo so I ignored the big X and headed on directly for check 4.

The pack eventually followed and caught up with me at check 5, subtlely located where no-one was likely to see it down on the paddy below the trail. On to holding check 6 (not 5) where the cunning of Rotter's ineptitude really started to kick in, but first a bit of kid abuse from Mrs Clinton who was seen clutching day old baby goats to her bosom whilst the Hare tried to call in the shortcutters. False trails indicated within 50 metres of a check can only mean one thing - the paper lies that way, so I ignored the calls and carried on, coming across what I thought must have been check 8 since check 7 (what Rotter said was 6) was a holding check. So I followed paper along what I thought was the trail backwards to check 7 but was in fact forwards to holding check 8 (I hope you're all following this). After about 10 minutes of searching I found everyone at Holding Check 8 at the paved road (they hadn't been there when I first passed).

Out through a temple, led by Rotter (why?) where it is understood there was a revolving door that had been welded up so it wasn't a revolving door any more. This did not deter Bog Trotter from trying, though. Soon we encountered a large splodge of paper spread on a paved surface which the Hare assured us was a check, and certainly there was no other paper within a couple of hundred metres. That made it check 9, by my reckoning and therefore the last check, despite having only just turned in the general direction of Rotter's Roost. The pack followed paper from this for a while but when that ran out just made their own way home. There were rumours of at least another couple of checks but these were largely ignored, and the pack straggled slowly in.

As the circle was called to order(?) Towed Under managed her usual trick of producing food and the ugly rush for meringues that ensued disrupted the initial proceedings. Don't know why a down-down was not administered for this heinous crime. The circle awarded a score of 9.9 for the run, which could also have been the average number of checks that the pack saw. More food disruption followed, this time from Mrs. Rotter with a tray of excellent pizza. In a striking new initiative the Master then called for Hash incidents, totally ignoring years of hash convention of welcoming virgins and newcomers first. Crashers this week were Keeled Over, Ganga Gonzo (being a North American, probably his real name) and Custard Tart (who says please can she get her down-down next week 'cos the mean old Master didn't give her one this week!)

The circle seemed to be getting unusually restless at this stage and the reason was clear a few seconds later when cries of where's the beer from the King made us notice that there was no beer in the circle (other than the awful warm Tuborg which no self respecting hasher would drink voluntarily). Those in the know pointed towards the old 40 gallon oil drum at the back of the garden where the beer was chilling in cold water, there being no ice today.

Four virgins, Tsering, Ivan, Sachie and Noah, were introduced to hashing delights of the circle and welcomed to the Hash. The fifth virgin, Punam, had already left. Tsering is a runner, so what's he doing here? Ivan was Terrible as he thought the Cannucks could show the Brits how to drink beer and Sachie made a fairly common virgin's mistake of telling the Master how wonderful it all was and how pleased she was to be there. Virgins must be told in future that this sort of thing only goes to his head, so please don't do it.

Newcomers were also called in: Jules, Ganga Gonzo again and Elizabeth. One of them, GG, was immediately chastised for wanking before all three were welcomed. Elizabeth downed hers so quickly that the circle demanded an action replay. No comments were heard from the French Canadian section of the circle when a repeat performance of about 1.5 seconds from this South Seas Harriette was given! Nearly leavers, Pink Floyd and Claire were then shopped by Tadpole, who will probably regret having done so during the remaining few weeks of term. However, the Febs announced their leaving do which will be on 14th December at 1905 (GM - "why five past?" - place not time you old fool) and it will be a glitter party.

Another announcement closely followed this one. Next week's run will be a Scandinavian Run devised by Grumblewald and assisted by two other co-hares. Not too sure where it will be but there will be two runs - a long and a short - it will start at 14.00 so we can expect the long to be super-long and it will be competitive. It therefore cannot be a Hash so all are urged not to attend!

Jalak (why hasn't he got a hash name yet?), Ivan the terrible Cannuck and someone else were called in for wanking and then Keeled Over announced another announcement to be made by Towed. Run 1250, another HHHH milestone will have to be celebrated soon and it is proposed to have a hash weekend at Dakshinkali - see other bits of the website for details (but wait until the GM has corrected the cock-ups on there at the moment) (ever tried converting a Word doc from Towed to put on the web - GM).

More circle business followed with teacher Richard being fêted for teaching Jasmine to shout "check it out" from the comfort of the backpack (see photo for Jasmine in action). Jasmine, being a birthday girl the following day, also got a down-down. The Master (lets get him a Zimmer for his next one) was also celebrating a birthday and Jedi, it says in my notes, also got a down-down but no-one in this household seems to know if or why. (By this time most of our Amphibian Family had probably passed out and were unable to tell a hash mug from the shoe from which Jedi was imbibing - GM).

The Master was about to close the circle when Hurry K reminded him about the Hashit. After various accusations flying around, some that had nothing to do with the hash, the Master made a unilaterally democratic decision to award it to Bog Trotter for trying to revolve the aforementioned non-revolving door. (Can we have a photo caption competition - what is Andy saying to Gonzo in the background of the main photograph of the Hashit award?). Shortly after this award, and before social drinking had been called, the leavers who aren't leaving for a while left. Unfortunately motorcycles are not allowed in the circle so the pair received a mounted down-down, as it were.

Finally a down-down for Mrs Rotter for the catering. Looking at the piccie it would appear that only one small hasher was left in the circle by this time.

I suppose the Hare should be congratulated for setting the run. Well done Rotter.