Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1248

23 November 2002

Location Ramkot, on the Dhading road Virgins Karsten, Parbati
Hares Jalak, Sideways, Tibet Gal Virgins Elif, Neil
Hashers 45 Leavers Karsten
Hashit Andy Latecomers Apple, Bendy Toes, Sven
Trash Towed Trashflash Rotter

The Pictures

The Trash

Despite the Hares’ assurances, this hash gathered miles out along a dusty bumpy track, which could explain why the turnout was lower than usual. Mind you, Keeled was known to be clearing out his new shed in preference to hashing and Pink Floyd and Claire were packing. There was also a noticeable lack of US representation – probably packing as well.

Anyway, 45 of us gathered for a late 2.30 start (the GM was even later than me) and the Hares were called into the circle to explain the run. We should have guessed from the early start time that something special was on, but the Hares assured us that it was just another run and there was one holding check for everyone. As I recall this was the only information imparted and the pack was directed to the first paper further down the track we had come in on.

For once, my recollections of the run are not too clear. I’ve heard that the psyche does that in humans – shuts out unpleasant experiences. Anyway, as far as I recall, Check 1 was not too far from the start and most of the pack had run past it until it was noticed by me. Paper was straight on anyway so it would have been better all round if I hadn’t bothered. Check 2 was further on in the same direction (south-east for the benefit of the GM), then the river was finally crossed and we headed up through a village and along a road to Check 4 which was a back check. I’ve no idea what happened to Check 3 and, to be honest, don’t really care! The narrative from this point is going to be news to everyone, as the trail I followed seemed to be different from everyone else's, largely due to a reluctance to lose height when you know the trail is going up. Whilst the rest of the pack ran along a boring road, I think, Duckbill and I followed a set of steep steps up the hill and contoured around through all sorts of interesting things like little monuments, shrines and tap stands eventually, and very reluctantly, descending to Holding Check 5 at a Gomba (full of nun's, Tibet Gal told me, probably all cowering behind their prayer flags during the passage of the hash- GM).

Here we seemed to have lost virgins Neil, Elif and son but saw the walkers for the first and only time. We also saw the beer (GM – please note missed down-down for this sin). Andy then led the way up the hill to a four-way junction in the trail and bunch of Xs on every single exit. Not wishing to spread alarm he refrained from crying out “false trail” in a loud voice and let everyone come up to join him. So we all went back down the hill to the road and ran along that for a few miles, heading towards Pokhara. Shortly before we got there, there was an ascent, so steep and exhausting that it must have been Manaslu, where Tshering had to be towed by Duckbill. Much to my relief I overheard Sideways assure her that there were only 10 minutes or so left. I would not have been quite so relieved had I realised that the duration stated referred to our arrival at a holding check high on the valley rim and not to arrival at the On-In site. I had by this time completely lost track of what number check it was. Beautiful views there should have been, but the notably absent RA had clearly not arranged this with the proper authorities and so all we could see was the Maoist enclave of Dhading.

There then followed a 25km run in to the On-In site which really spread the pack out, some actually managing to arrive before two hours was up. All in all, a challenging run.

Once the Master had recovered, the circle was called to its usual disciplined shape. Following the Master’s memory loss of last week, Bog Trotter and Turd Herder had produced a prompt board for him. This immediately caused outrage in the circle and heated academic debate on whether a hash crash was an incident or not. The first item on the agenda was the Hares who were called in and prompted the first interruption. Clearly Handphun has failed in her duty as First Secretary in the Royal Norwegian Embassy by not explaining the hash rules to the upstanding citizens of that country. Rule 83 states quite clearly that there are no trucks allowed in the circle. Reider, attempting an early exit was therefore the first recipient of the day. The Hares were then awarded a 9.0A by the Master without further consultation with the pack. (I relented later and upped it to 9.90A - GM)

Virgins Karsten, Parbati, Elif and Neil were welcomed in the traditional manner. Karsten is yet another addition to the Danish fraternity, but having met the Danish hashing fraternity has decided to leave Nepal straight away. Parbati is from Patan, I think, Elif from Turkey and Neil from the UK. There were no Newcomers and no welcome backs, although Bendy Toes received a down-down for not staying away for more than two weeks. Karsten, as noted above, was the only leaver. I’m glad to see that hashing has made such a deep and meaningful impression on him.

The Master was then presented with what was probably the major challenge that he faced in the day: what to do with a late-coming non-running virgin who was wanking. Simple – get the two other wankers, Harihar and Tshering (the other Tshering - GM) into the circle and give the lot a down-down. Hash crashes Karen, Oliver and Grumble received their down-downs before the Master, clearly affected by last week’s hash, was accused of competitive hashing, having been noted racing to the On-In with Reider. Although he did not award himself a down-down at the time he was caught later on in the proceedings.
The various gender-insensitive front runners then demanded that Tshering was punished for spoiling their macho non-view of Annapurna. It was also noted that she had received assistance from Duckbill on one of the ascents on the run. Towed Under, the hash’s answer to Princess Anne, was sentenced for owning an out of control dog which had nearly knocked the Master over at the aforementioned check. Andy was then accused by Bog Trotter of losing his trousers on last week’s run. Quite why she has such an obsession with other men’s trousers can possibly be established next week when the hash has a sleep-over. Last week’s business seemed to be to the fore as Sideways was duly reprimanded for serving ice cold down-downs at last week’s circle. This had clearly had an impact on 69 whose failure to drink his award last week had made him revert to softies so the Master gave him a nice warm Tuborg.

When it was noted that our late-coming virgin non-runner was still wanking, Bendy Toes, as the person responsible for introducing him to the hash, was asked to accompany him in a refreshment (and explain). Finally, after a unanimous award of the Hashit was made to Andy for not calling the long uphill false trail until the pack had done it as well, the Master declared Social Drinking in the gathering gloom.

Well done to the Hares for setting a challenging run and to Mrs Rotter for the hash catering.