Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1260

1 February 2003

Location Pyataar Virgins Bikas, Ayumy, Susan and Abhijit
Hares Lao Lover and Kate Newcomers Rachel
Hashers 43
Returnees Shinichi, Slow Drip and Fleming
Fishit Rotter Leavers Slow Drip and perhaps Fleming
Trash Towed Trashflash Rotter & Tadpole
The Pictures The Trash

First breast-fed down-down!

Returnees Slow Drip and Phlegming

Great shot by Tadpole

Another great shot by Tadpole.

Bog Trotter keeping the hiccups away

The GM gets the Fishit

The Master clearly took issue with the my use of the first person in last weeks narrative so I shall try not to use it this week but I doubt if I will be able to. Here goes.

After a couple of wrong turnings and successfully losing Reider somewhere along the way the Towed vehicle arrived at the On-In site shortly after 3 p.m. with 10 hashers aboard, increasing the numbers there by around 30 percent. If theyd just said the same site as Run 1240 life would have been easier. The Hares announced 6 checks with 2, 4 and 7(!?) holding. Walkers were to stay with the Hares from Check 2. Other than that, there wasn't much else to say.

So off we set, back along the in-trail from run 1240, led by Duckbill and Towed with Hash Horn Ravi in close pursuit. Hash horns are a great idea unless they happen to be running directly behind you and blowing in your ear all the bloody time! Check 1 was soon encountered and the pack spread out in search of paper - and spread out, and spread out and spread out! Eventually the Hare relented and told everyone the way and we slogged up the steep path to the monastery and Holding Check 2. A long wait for the walkers, whilst we admired the sight of the cars parked at the On-In below, before the Hare called check it out. Given a choice of two directions, Tadpole, through some basic probability analysis, was certain of the direction in which Check 3 lay. Grumblewald, Rotter and Towed were gullible enough to follow the callow youth and so ended up at the back of the pack when Yogi Hare called paper the other way.

A scramble down into the valley below and, inevitably, into the river and Check 3. More exploration of the river bed and the slopes above demonstrated what a bunch of wusses the front runners are, tiptoeing across stepping stones frightened to death of getting their feet wet. Hurry K and the Hash Horn were leading the way here and eventually came across a six circle check - was it three normal checks or two holding checks? The decision of the pack was three normal checks so they spread out again in search of paper. Rotter eventually found it leading off up the hill and into familiar territory for those used to Lao Lovers runs.

Again, at Check 5, the pack was deceived. The Hare must have paid a bunch of people to walk the wrong way down the trail as Rotter returned to the check, sure in the knowledge that the walkers had passed that way, and sent Air Cooled Engine off along a false trail. Yogi Hare finally found the paper and really, we should have known that Lao Lover cannot set a run without a holding check at the junction with the little watering hole. From here it was a relatively simple run in to the On-In site, led by Keeled Over.

You will note that in this weeks narrative that the scribe appears to have stayed on paper all the way (well, almost). The walkers appear to have completely ignored the Hares recommendation to stay with them from Check 2 and most walked the full length of the run. Notable exceptions were this weeks dirigibles, Zeppelin and Jedi who did follow the Hares instruction, as did Head Chopper, Sock Sucker, Surbir, Fiona, Bikas, Susan and Abhijit. The same cannot be said of Slow Drip who appears to have stayed at the On-In and found the nearest rakshi shop. Everyone struggled in eventually, the rear being brought up by the virgin Rai family escorted by Kate.

The circle was called to order, and a very orderly circle it turned out to be, briefly interrupted during formation because Towed Under had forgotten to bring out the samosas until the Master called the circle.

Down-downs were awarded as follows:

" Towed: for interrupting with the samosas

" The Hares - Lao Lover and Kate. Another hash innovation in scoring with the Master calling for bids - the bidding started at seven and finally worked its way up to a triumphal and surprising 9.9 from Keeled Over. He wins the right to set a run near a tarmac road and of less than 2 hours duration.

" Virgins: Susan, Abhijit, Ayumy and Bikas. Susan provided another hash first - breast feeding in the circle, which could lead to an interesting hash name in the future. Shes here to teach nursery at The British School. Abhijit managed not to say why hes here, other than for the beer which is a good enough reason for me (aghhh, first person singular!). Ayumy is accompanying her returnee dad Shin who is here as long as the Norwegians keep on funding. Bikas tried all ways to say that he was not a second hand car dealer.

The Master, unfortunately, was unable to properly explain the hash ritual of down-downs and most of the virgins had finished their drinks by the time the circle got to through and through. They were clearly misled by his affliction of thrusting his right arm in the air, as amply demonstrated by Turd Herder.

" Newcomer Rachel whose previous hash experience was in Grenada

" Returnees Fleming (Phlegming looks much better and more appropriate to Kathmandu), Slow Drip and Shin

" The Master for once again calling the returnees newcomers

" Fleming and Slow Drip who are leaving as soon as they had come back

" Fleming again for wasting beer

" Sigi and Ayumy for crashing (in the case of Sigi, related to a hare of the dog, or the dog of the Hare with spectacularly muddy and bloody results - well done Balu)

" Grumblewald for being quiet, which soon changed once he got into the circle

" Bog Trotter to demonstrate to Slow Drip a failsafe method of curing hiccups

" The Hares for being profligate with paper when the hash is paper-deficient

" Slow Drip for starting his down-down before the song was over

" Hurry K and Rotter for between them missing celebration of HKs 100th Run on the correct date

" The Master for being unable to work out how long a week was and holding this run in one weeks time

" Fishit to the Master, after fighting off some fierce competition from Bog Trotter and Zeppelin, for wearing ballet tights displaying his lunch pack as well as having to use a script for running the circle.

" Mrs Rotter for thinking she might have accidentally thrown the Hashit into the rubbish bin. Given the ensuing correspondence from the aforementioned object, good riddance.

Thanks to Mrs Rotter for Hash catering and to the Hares for an excellent run.

4th Feb: Turd Herder Takes Issue on Funding:

In this week's trash (1260), the Japanese government takes exception to the Norwegians being credited with funding our part of the Melamchi Water Supply Project.

For your information the number of donors includes:

Asian Development Bank;
NORAD (Norwegian government)
SIDA (Swedish government)
OPEC
JICA (Japanese grant aid)
JBIC (Japanese loan).

Let's not blame the Norwegians for everything - however convenient it may be! My lot working on the water treatment plant is funded by JBIC.

Just to keep you all on the right track.

Shin's full name by the way is Shinichi Osaka. (Ouchh!!! - GM)

Turd Herder

later on 4th Feb:
Turd Herder,

No-one said that trash had to be either accurate or unbiased. Thanks for the corrigenda, but the multinational aspects of your programme are not really of great interest to me. What really counts is being able to take the piss out of Handphun!

Towed

PS have you noticed that Rotter is now seriously chronologically challenged. Note date for run 1263! (after the recent freezers I've decided to move the hash immediately to the warm season - GM)