Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1264

1 March 2003

Location Towed Hall Virgins Tom, Louis, Tina, Samuel and Maya
Hares Tadpole, Dead Dog and Satcheen Newcomers  
Hashers 59
Returnees Benjamin, Mark, Carl
Hashit Towed Leavers  
Trash Turd Herder Trashflash Towed Under

The Pictures

The Trash

This must be the run, I suppose

The Hares

The Crashers

Bloody Hashers

The Debaters

?

Old Hashitters

The Run

After Laos Lover's dogs and Bendy Toes' dog had got acquainted by barking, snarling and snapping at each other for what seemed like ten minutes, Towed called the circle to attention. The three hares were brought into the circle to advise that there were six checks and, of these, three were holding checks. Walkers were to follow Dead Dog, while Tadpole and Satcheen would be with the runners.

As is usual from Towed Hall, the pack set off in a southerly direction along the track to turn off to the west, down into the valley to the first check near the brickworks. The intelligent hashers who had been on the run last week knew that paper could only go west or north, otherwise there would be an almighty screw-up with last week's paper which had led us very close to Towed Hall. Turd Herder and Head Chopper found paper only for it to disappear within a hundred metres or so with no "X" marking a false trail. The Fox, Run Crafty, Towed and ACE all disappeared to the west but the correct trail was to the northwest around the north side of the brickworks and then on to holding check 2. As the walkers, who were with Dead Dog, were still way in the distance and obviously thought that they were on a nature ramble or stroll through the countryside, hares Tadpole and Satcheen called "Check it out!"

Cannot remember who called this trail but it was probably Run Crafty or Towed, who, exceptionally seemed to be staying on paper, maybe in deference to his son being one of the hares. This was a fairly long trail to holding check three, which was near the limestone quarry over the Chobar Gorge suspension bridge and across the Dakshikhali Road. Again the intelligent hashers surmised that the correct trail must be back over the suspension bridge as the bridges upstream and downstream on the Bagmati open sewer (great place for Herding Turds? - GM) were a long way off. However the pack spread out on the west of the Bagmati looking for the elusive paper. Turd Herder and Head Chopper followed the Dakshikhali Road round to the Nepalese industrial relic of ten years (since the grants/ loans for maintenance ran out) - the cement works, back across the suspension bridge and eventually found paper about one kilometre from the check. By this time most of the runners realised that the trail must be back over the river and were making their way over the suspension bridge.

After a while paper disappeared, but the pack, now led by Towed and ACE surmised that the next check would be at the top of the hill we were contouring - and it was. This was holding check five, but check four was missed completely by most, if not all, of the runners. Here the runners met up with some of the walkers, while the rest were still struggling up the hill with Dead Dog. Tadpole was also struggling to remember the correct route and shouted for the runners to check it out from his position lower down the hill.

By now, Towed Hall could be seen in the distance and the pack made straight for it, again omitting to find check six. However an enormous pile of shredded paper was found. It was found out later in the circle that this was supposed to be the ON-IN arrow.

The Circle

Before Towed as the Stand-in GM could get into his stride in the circle (not like the run where he always gets into stride on his own, off-paper hash), the proceedings were interrupted by the ringing of a mobile phone. Everyone turned towards Handphun but, amazingly it was not her phone. A relatively new hasher was the culprit, so he was given the new name of Mr. Handphun and the appropriate down-down.

Then on to the hares. After a miserable suggestion of a score of 8 for the run, by the SGM, the score of 10 was suggested as the hares had actually outsmarted the teacher (SGM Towed). The hash democratically endorsed this recommendation and the hares, Tadpole, Dead Dog and Satcheen were suitably rewarded for a good run. (Sorry I am autocratically reducing the score to something within the realms of reality - 9.9 - GM) (Note to other hashers - if three confident teenagers can set a run like this one why not some of you other virgin hares out there?)

Virgins were five for the conjugal down-down - Tom and Louis (although Louis's down-down had to be taken by his dad - DFID Mark), Tina from some tourist board who had been brought by Martina, Samuel who came on the hash because he had been told to by his mate and Maya who is Mrs Rotter's new helper.

During the virgin initiation, Viggo received a down-down for his short- sightedness when he was adamant that Maya did not have a drink, despite the mug being clutched tightly in her right hand. The diction of the SGM must have been terrible as the virgins all partook of the down-down while the pack were singing for the short-sighted one. Also the SGM did not go through the callisthenic exercise that the real GM normally undertakes to explain the ritual to virgins.

Next into the circle were returnees Mark, Carlos and Benjamin who were suitably rewarded.

Other awards:

Socksucker, Fangio and Neil for hash crashes.

Bendy Toes and Viggo for managing to get blood injuries on the run. Although there was some debate as to whether the marks on the calves was blood, lipstick or just paint coming off Towed Under's plant pots.

Then Dave was into the circle for removing a scab from his leg during the run - a real bloody injury.

There was another debate by The Fox and Tadpole about what Towed had, or had not, done on the run. However the SGM (Towed) exerted his democratic right on the hash and awarded both a down-down for debating at length.

Towed Under also weighed in with her comments and was suitably rewarded for disrespect to the SGM.

Instructions on the use of, and way to construct a home arrow were then given to Tadpole and Satcheen as their home arrow consisted of a heap of shredded paper. Despite their protestations that the local kids had messed it up, they received the requisite reward.

Mrs Rotter for sitting outside of the circle and Beaufort and Mark for private partying and, no doubt, talking about DFID work.

Lao Lover and Lao Lover's Lover volunteered to set next week's run.

Following the SGM asking for Hashit nominations using the new hashit, two were received:

1.The Hares for setting a one kilometre back-check across the Chobar Gorge suspension bridge

2. Towed for not educating the hares in the correct hashing protocol for setting runs

Before the circle could decide Towed Under got the award for some sort of upside down logic (female logic?) regarding the new hashit.

Then Towed brought into the circle the old hashit, which had been delivered to the reception at the Yak & Yeti Hotel for Bog Trotter by a blond, aged mid twenties and good English speaker. Included in the Harrods bag were two photographs of the hashit and the fishit together and the number 69 - is this evidence pointing towards the involvement of our own Richard Heimel (69), or is it just another factor to throw everyone off the scent of the real perpetrator - the Rotter family perhaps?

Back to the award of the "old" hashit and by popular acclaim it was given to Towed, who then brought Bog Trotter into the circle to join him in taking the amber nectar for her private partying and returning the hashit.

The usual thanks to the caterers - Mrs Rotter, Towed Under, Roger and Tibetgal.