Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1266

15 March 2003

Location Panditgaon, Budhanilkantha Virgins Kilroy, Robert, Tonila, Don, Yeda, Pier
Hares Turd Herder, Bog Trotter, Beaufort Newcomers Donald
Hashers 67
Returnees Mikael, Legs, Bengt, Rani
Hashit Kilroy Leavers Emil, David
Trash Towed Trashflash Run Crafty, Rotter

The Pictures

The Trash

Rare shot of HHHH actually hashing!

OK Tree, take this

The pack slumps down exhausted after a hard run

Hares

Potato-head winner Harry

I'm going to make you all sick . . . . . or Irish

Virgins

The Mad Dane returns for support

So that's what you all think of my green momos

The weather looked a bit threatening for the Irish National Day run but the O’Hares were full of good cheer (and probably Guinness as well) and handing out little pin-on shamrocks to all and sundry. After the usual wait for a few latecomers, making the pack numbers up to a substantial 67, the circle was called and the O’Hares were asked to provide the run brief. Seven checks were announced, with 3 and 4 holding, and the usual plethora of Turd Herder false trails.

Before all the pack had returned the Master called the circle to order and, in true hash tradition, the first down-down was awarded to the provider of the best potato head. After due deliberation Bog Trotter judged that the best one was the one with legs, a top hat and blue bow tie. A reluctant Harry Palmer (should his hash name be Len Deighton or Michael Caine - not a lot of people will know that!) stepped forward and confessed to his sins. Proving that the hash can overcome all cultural divides, including sectarian ones, he was given an orange down-down. Bog Trotter was so pleased with herself that she ended up throwing sweets around the circle, leading to some ungainly grovelling around by more mature hashers.

Beaufort, Turd Herder and the aforementioned Bog Trotter were then called in for their own judgement. Six point six was deemed appropriate by the GM since he thought that this was nine point nine backwards - a just award for an Irish run - which was translated by Bog Trotter into sé point sé and by Kilroy (more of whom later) into knee point knee. Shock-horror then arose when it was noted that the down-downs were to be of green beer. This was the alleged result of the Carlsberg brewery using cheap quality bottles from which the colour had run.

Virgins Yeda, Pier, Kopila, Jankla, Kilroy and Robert were welcomed in traditional style. Yeda and Pier were brought by Emil to take him away; Kopila lives in Nepal which is why she’s here; Jankla, via translator Tina, claimed to be here because she likes the hash, no-one really knows why Kilroy is here (as I recall, he’d been in every toilet in universities throughout the UK) and Robert said he’d been coming since 69, but 69 denied all knowledge of this. He also said he was Kilroy’s partner (not too sure what to make of that!).

Visitor or Newcomer Donald, he wasn’t sure which, is here to help the Melamchi crew. What is sure is that if he sticks with it, he’s got a good few years of hashing with HHHH ahead of him. Mind you, they seem to go as fast as they come, to coin a phrase, as this was David’s last run, along with Emil who was off home to deal with some exams.
Welcome Backs were Grate Dane Bengt, Guano, Legs and Jedi (who’d only been away for a week but was obviously thirsty). Trish managed to escape the eagle eye and razor sharp wit of the GM. Satcheen had new size 13s, so his new shoes down-down just about finished a case.

Offences on the run came from Crashers Jankla, Head Chopper and Towed with ACE topping up the list as a Hash Slasher. We understand that this had something to do with COC (no, not what you think, but Caught On Camera). Finally, Screwed received a down-down for simply making it around the whole trail.

For some obscure reason the Master then called the caterers in. Asked to explain why, Kilroy then launched into a blatant advertising speil. If he thought the hash would fall for that line he’s got another think coming. No way is such an erudite pack going to allow the owner of the three best restaurants in town, Kilroys, K2 and 1905 to use the hash as a vehicle for promoting the excellent and original cuisine available at these establishments, not to mention the special St Patrick’s Day deals that are on offer at Kilroys. The GM confessed to never having been to any of these shining examples of culinary excellence and was promptly awarded a down-down by Towed. Eventually Kilroy was told to shut up and the Master was allowed to proceed with the business in hand.

Towed then invited Dead Dog, Satcheen and Tadpole to step into the circle and, with a little prompting, Bog Trotter agreed that they were not small, but Big Horrors. This being the St. Patrick’s day Run, it was then deemed appropriate that the Begorrahs were awarded a lovely green down-down. Continuing the Irish theme, with a touch of the biblical added, Theresa was accused by Bog Trotter of having one that was much too small - Shamrock, that is - which she was wearing like a small fig leaf. Suggestions of a hash name of Little Eve were ignored by the GM, despite the fact that she locomotes so well.

The Hashit was awarded this week to Kilroy for painting the hash green. Towed Under presented a Guinness and chocolate cake for the circle to sample and Geoff proceeded to relate a very pertinent story about how the Irish decided not to go to war with Saddam due to a lack of potatoes. At some stage thereafter the Master called for social drinking, which was what everyone had been doing all along.

As a brief closing ceremony, and in very un-hash-like manner, Bog Trotter led those of the pack not wearing green in a display of Irish dancing that brought tears to Turd Herder’s eyes. A wonderful hash, to be sure.

As for the run, well I believe there was one - the photographs imply it - but it paled into insignificance against the super circle. And the O’Hares were right, seven checks, 3 and 4 holding, and loads of bloody false trails!