Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1269 5th April 2003
Location Bramakhel Virgins Lars Petersen, Michael Greasebum, Arati Kilroy, Francesca, and Thomas from the Black Forest
Hares Bendy Toes, Fangio, Michael, Thomas Visitors Alison and Peter
Hashers 64 Returnees Shinichi Osaka, Mouth Organ, Arifa and Tully
Hashit Bendy Toes Leavers Bog Trotter
Trash Turd Herder Trashflash Tadpole and Rotter
The Pictures The Trash

The Head Hare refines his skills of confusion

Hares

Towed Under's dai and baujiu

Thomas, I'm quite open to a deal to buy too little beer again. See me behind the LandRover next week - GM

Tadpole gets a remarkably clear and typical shot of mum complaining about the GM

Baby-faced T-shirts

A great moment - 50th hash and an introduction to the art of drinking beer at speed

Having just gobbed her down-down on the GM. Goodbye to that!

Hashenshitzkroptrampeln, with typical Black Forest landscape behind

Despite the directions about looking for the Black Forest in Gokarna, and further written directions on the asphalt road to the site over sixty hashers made it (eventually) to the run site.

The Run

The GM tried to bring the hash to order before getting the hares to tell us about the run, which had eight checks, of which three and six were holding checks. The trail had been laid using lime for the runners and yellow spray paint for the walkers who were to stay with Michael (or maybe it was Thomas), and Bendy Toes and Fangio would be with the runners.

The runners set off in a northerly direction, crossing the Sankhu road and up the first hill, only to find that it was the first of a number of false trails. Back to the vehicles to find the correct trail leading southwards to the Manahara Khola. (As we had seen the cars on the run, then, under universally accepted hash rules, the run should have been declared over and the Hashit awarded).

The first of the checks was on the banks of the Manahara Khola. Unfortunately for the hares lime does not stand out against the white grit and sand on the banks of the river and confusion reigned until the hares got there and called it as a check. Meanwhile a number of FRBs had set off westwards on the other bank of the river only to find that the true trail was way off to the east up a hill on the south side of the river to check two. The check was quite artistically drawn comprising two concentric circles and a cross in the middle and caused some discussion as to why it was like that. Suggestions ranged from the hares have never seen an HHHH check so did not know what it should look like to "it looks like a deformed swastika".

A false trail was run up the hill but the correct route was found by Towed contouring around the hill on the field bunds to the east to check two. My memory about the next bit of the run to holding check six has faded with the post-run alcohol, but we eventually came to holding check three. From here we scrambled through undergrowth and across fields back to the Manahara Khola. However, the run had to be diverted in one place due to the route crossing wheat fields and the local populace getting upset about the potential crop bashing. Do not know what happened to checks four and five. Holding check six was on the north side of the river in a shaded area. From here the run through checks seven and eight was uneventful until the runners got held up behind a bevy of local beauties crossing the bunds between rows of pratai (the Irish for potatoes, not tattie or taty) and on in along the Sankhu road back to the vehicles.

The Circle

The GM, showing a remarkable degree of intelligence for an architect, delayed the start of the circle until the sun had mostly gone down behind the Black Forest so that those hashers on the east of the circle would not be blinded by the sun. He opened proceedings in the usual chaotic manner by calling for the hares. Towed interrupted the proceedings and brought Natsui-san and Apple into the circle for their comments on the run. After comments of "not so good" and "good" from these hashers, and further shouts ranging from "good run" to "rubbish" and a suggestion of 9.9 for the run minus 9 for crop bashing from the pack, the GM awarded the customary 9.9 to the hares.

Before introducing the virgins, visitor Alison was brought in for wanking and given her softee down-down. (Surely Towed Under would have explained the rules of HHHH to her sister-in-law before the run)

The Virgins were five for the conjugal down-down - Lars Petersen from Denmark, Michael Greasebum a German mapper, Arati Kilroy who was not allowed to advertise her husband's three restaurants in town, Francesca who brought a bit of class from Italy and Thomas from the Black Forest.

Next into the circle were visitors Pete, the little brother of Towed Under and the aforementioned Alison. These were followed by returnees Mouth Organ, Shinichi Osaka, Aretha and Tully.

In the following melee of a circle the scribe was able to ascertain that the following awards for real and imagined hash offences:

  • Turd Herder for confusing the GM by giving him extra length (in the circle order of business).

  • Carrot Brain for attending 50 hashes.

  • Grumblewald, Tully and Bog Trotter for hash crashes.

  • Bendy Toes for leading the hash through the growing fields of wheat and therefore encouraging crop bashing.

  • Tully was then brought in for vomiting on the run. She later returned to the circle to be given the hash name of Diced Carrots.

  • The four fashionably challenged Americans, Jedi, Diced Carrots, Courtney and Hayden were awarded for their baby-faced t-shirts compete with body rings.

  • Last Tuesday was April Fool's Day and was also the day of the fast hash. As usual Rotter had made a mistake on the webshite and posted the wrong time for the run. However this did not stop Hurry Krishna from turning up at the incorrect time (only a teacher could turn up for a mid-week run at 15.45!).

  • Turd Herder entered the circle waving copies of last week's trash and the directions for this week's run, both of which he said were listed as being for run 1269 and therefore as the editor of the webshite the GM should be rewarded for being numerically challenged. However Towed then pointed out that the runs were listed as 1268, not 1269. Therefore Rotter and Turd Herder were both given down-downs for being numerically challenged.

  • Reverting back to the official order of proceedings the GM then expounded that there was a leaver in the circle and it had been great to have her, whereupon Towed said that it was new to him that Rotter had had Bog Trotter, and Towed was awarded a down-down for highlighting this. Bog Trotter was then brought into the circle for leaving to go home to Ireland as Turd Herder's design work for the Melamchi project was going to be mothballed for several years until it could be constructed.

  • Some of the photographs in the last hash trash were pretty awful and, despite Turd's protestations that it was the editor's (Rotter) job to select the best photographs, Towed Under was rewarded for being the photographer.

  • The latecomers were the Kilroys, Lars Petersen, Wolfgang and Herbert.

  • The real latecomers then appeared having just finished the run at this time - Viggo, Therese and Elizabeth.

    There was some discussion about ball-less dogs before it was decreed by the GM that Mouth Organ would set next week's run - much to Mouth Organ's amazement! However, help was at hand as Hurry Krishna and Emily agreed to help him. (Why has Emily not got a hash name, she should have one by now after two years with HHHH?) If you have any suggestions for hash names for those without, circulate your suggestions to the hash via the hash list of e-mails.

  • The GM then exhibited the new non-copulating hashit recently presented to the hash by Martina (another hash-nameless person - GM). The piston had broken and the couple had parted. Despite suggestions that the GM and Martina illustrate how the couple should be together, Martina was rewarded with a down-down and the new hashit returned to be welded together.

  • For some reason Kilroy was given a Miranda down-down which he promptly poured over his head, before Bendy Toes was given the Hashit for crop bashing.

  • The Aftermath

    Although social drinking being called, the pack broke up as

    we had run out of beer!!!!!

    However Kilroy came to the rescue and offered two cases of beer to the hashers who turned up straight away at 1905, the Kilroy restaurant and bar on Kantipath near the bowling alley.

    The usual thanks to the caterers - Mrs Rotter, Tibetgal and Mercedes.

    Then it was ON-ON-ON to 1905 (named, by the way, because it was the year the building was constructed). A generous supply of free beer and snacks from Thomas Kilroy, before the more hungry hashers tucked into meals from the menu and a case of beer from the hash. A great evening which perhaps should be repeated occasionally.