Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1333 12 June 2004
Location Guano’s Garden, Kusunti Hares Guano, Grumble and Handphun
Hashers 59 Hashit Guano
Trash Towed Trashflash Tadpole, Rotter
Remarkables virgins: Sebastian, Iris, Daniela, Moritz, Johanna, Uli, Sarah, newcomers: The Uncouple returnees: Guano, Tadpole, Dead Dog, Jeewan, Mama Mia and a couple of others leavers: Spare Part, Dead Dog, Guano, Gerard
The Pictures The Trash

The blind lead the blind

Lost Ark weilds his Big One. The Uncouple looks on in less than awe

However Spare Part, seen at the furthest point of the run, shows off a MUCH more impressive one

But it wasn't loud enough, so the GM reverted to that larynx

Has anyone seen Grumble as happy as this before? Where's his other fun hand?

That Pole and the German newcomers (we hope)

Mustard Fart's century is not to be sniffed at. Laugh. It's the GM's wit!

Not to be seen again

It's downhill from now on, Saraya

Guano goes out with the Hashirt and the Hashit

Once upon a time there were three Hares. There was Guano Hare, Grumble Hare and Handphun Hare. They lived happily in a tent in a garden in Kusunti. There was also a Big Bad Master who brought lots of Hashers to Guano's Garden one Saturday afternoon. Earlier in the day the Three Hares had gone out for a little walk around the Nakhu Valley to lay a nice messy paper trail for the Hashers to follow. However, when they got to Check 6 Handphun Hare said that it was far too far for a back check. Grumble Hare and Guano Hare didn't like this so they pushed her in the river and tried to drown her. Even worse, her handphun got wet.

So it was that later that day when the Hashers arrived, Handphun Hare was sitting in a chair in the garden nursing a broken ankle. After a while, the Big Bad Master made all the Hashers surround her and force her to tell where the paper had been laid. This made Handphun Hare so frightened that she said she wasn't going to hare the run after all and nasty old Grumble Hare and Guano Hare could jolly well do it themselves.

Then the Big Bad Master made Grumble Hare and Guano Hare tell all the Hashers about the run. Then the Wicked Old Fox led all the runners off in the wrong direction. After a little while everyone realised that he was leading them astray so they turned round and ran back to join the walkers who had been shown the proper way by the Good Apple Hare who had been co-opted to replace Handphun Hare.

After a while most Hashers found their way to Holding Check 2 except for the Wicked Fox and Yogi Hare and Ramesh who had got lost in the woods. Then they followed the walkers a little way and all got lost in the pine forest at Check 3, but some eventually found paper and Towed even found the Wicked Fox (needless to say neither of them on paper). Holding Check 5 was set by the side of the road on the old Tuesday Run trail, which meant that Run Crafty, Gerard and Towed ran straight past it. They were eventually called back by the rest of the pack who were soon told to check it out by the Hares.

From here the trail went the obvious way down towards the bamboo bridge over the Nakhu and an enormous back check on Check 6, where the paper must have been at least 600 metres from the check. The runners were then forced up the hill towards Rotter's Roost and then back down again to Holding Check 7 by the river. At this point the run turned into a community service exercise with The Wicked Fox, Run Crafty, Grumble and a few others stealing the mattocks from a group of local ladies who were busy ploughing the nearby field and proceeding to dig up all the wrong bits. Shortly after this, on the way up to Check 8, a group of hashers, once again led astray by The Wicked Fox, were encountered carrying two massive lengths of bamboo for some poor bloke who had been trying to take them in the opposite direction. (significantly it took 6 hashers to carry the load that one villager had been carrying.) Check 8 was a bit of a waste of time as by then the pack was so close to Guano's Garden that most headed straight home.

The Master called the circle to order fairly quickly but not before ace crasher Run Crafty had fled the coop for the third week in a row. He is to be dealt with next week. In view of the Master's cracked ribs reported last week, Guano kindly provided an electronic megaphone. Sadly, the Master's operating skills were seriously lacking and the attempt at artificial amplification was soon abandoned.

The Hares were called in or, in Handphun's case, carried into the circle to receive their just desserts. With scores ranging from 500 to minus one point one being offered, a diplomatic solution of 9.9 was settled on. Sadly, this was the end of diplomacy as far as the Master was concerned as he graciously invited a host of German virgins to introduce themselves. From interns at the Embassy through DED people to UNICEF workers, and one natural candidate for the hash who works at the Beer Hospital, Sebastian, Iris, Daniella, Maurice, Johanna, Lilli were duly welcomed in the Master's own (fortunately) inimitable fashion.

Other down downs were:

Newcomer The Uncouple, who hails from Johannesburg and Kosovo hashes
Returnees Guano, Tadpole, Dead Dog, Jeewan, Mama Mia and a couple of others plus, belatedly, two small Shresthas
Leavers Spare Part, Dead Dog, Guano and Gerard
Grumblewald for being objectionable
Guano for being the Pole in the middle (Eh?)
Hash pre-crasher Handphun, who was once again carried in - an honour, so Jeewan told us, awarded only to those over 77 years old
There then followed considerable discussion as to the exact reason for awarding the Hashit to Guano. It could have been the beer running out as his down-down mug had to be topped up with tomatoes, chilli sauce etc., Guano was presented with a new hash tee shirt, honours being managed by Mama Mia and another winsome Harriette but before it could all happen Mrs. Rotter was hauled in because once again the GM had lost the Hashit Headgear.

Milestones: Mustard Fart's 100th was finally remembered by the GM, as was Soraya's 5th birthday and then, just when we thought it was all over and social drinking would be declared, the old fart shifted into overdrive to award late down-downs to:

A non-participatory Dane
The Sane Dane for not having appeared on TV this week
Gerard for being a GM crawler, having said that the only reason for coming back to Kathmandu would be for the Hash
And Spare Part in the hope that, having left this time, he won't come back again

Thanks to the Hares for a good run and to Guano for sponsoring the snacks and the beer.