Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1340 31 July 2004
Location Second Bungamati Tree, before Champi
Hares Grumblewald, Griot, and Apple
Hashers 43 Hashit Keeled
Trash Keeled Trashflash Tadpole
Remarkables Virgins: Marie, Oliver returnees: The Toweds, 69!, James, Linda, Bengt's Mrs and daughter, the Sherpz, newcomers: Andy and Delia
The Pictures The Trash

Above (caption from Towed - as concise as his trashes): looks to me like Towed Under and Nicolet squaring up to each other (at least I think its Nicolet). Don't know whether the grub behind is going to referee or whether he's got his hand stuck in TUs bottle and she's asking Nicolet to help pull him out!

Hares

Mainly my muddy bum plus what I think must be virgins Marie and Oliver. Towed.

Yet more new TBS teachers

The crashers

Towed having to help out Itchy balls whose memory of what his left
arm's for has clearly failed (which was why he got the d-d in the first
place - not wanking!)

Keeled Over gets to the bottom of it

Grumble insisted that I write this instead of Towed because Towed did not follow the proper route. So what! The trash is always a fictitious account of the afternoon's events so it doesn't make any difference who writes it. All the same I'll have a go at recalling what happened between 14.45 and 18.30 on 31 July 2004 in the environs of the Second Bungamati Tree.

After the usual Hash mid-July hiatus with numbers down to 15, the impending restart of the British School saw attendance back up to over 40.

The over-riding characteristic of this hash was paper mismanagement. They even managed to fool Towed, who had just returned from his Antipodean sojourn and was claiming he was fit. Fit for nothing more like! The start saw the hares' chariots parked up but no sign of the hares. As ten past three arrived the Religious Adviser decided that we should get on with it as he had an important dinner date later on and couldn't afford to hang around waiting for the hares.

The RE had been recceing the paper and led the hash off on the same route as Grumble had taken on his Hash 1304 in December 2003. Apple led the walkers off on a gentle stroll around the vicinity whilst the runners' paper contoured for a long stretch northwards on the Bagmati side of the ridge to check 1. It then continued in the same direction, over the ridge to the Nakhu Khola side -- and this is where things began to go wrong. The next we saw of Towed was when he turned up at the finish coated with mud from head to foot as if he had been crawling through a mudslide. Indeed this is what he had been doing as he had actually tried to follow paper, but it was the wrong type of paper, laid as the hares' plans were going awry due to an untimely landslide having washed their route away.

The main pack -- minus Towed and followers -- followed the irrigation ditch heading south upstream above the Nakhu. Keeled was at the front and called out "lost paper" shortly after passing Grumble who was malingering at the side of the irrigation ditch. Whyever nobody pushed him in the ditch we will never know! Ignoring Keeled's words of wisdom the pack pressed on and paperless ended up wading along the irrigation ditch and then having to clamber up through rice fields back to no paper and various confusing shouts that enticed the pack further southwards and back up to the road to a holding check in an old quarry. It was good to have a few more young runners in the shape of Line and Andy to add to the usual collection of old crocks that stagger around the hash each week. Come again! And which reminds me that our 'great leader' Rotter is threatening to return next week.

In spite of Grumble's mid-run briefing of eight checks and no river crossings the paper -- what there was of it -- inevitably led back down towards the Nakhu and over and up the other side and along rice fields and down a muddy landslide and back over the river towards yet more rice fields and the home arrow that marked the long climb back up to the second Bungamati tree and the beer. Phew! Naren and Chris's mutts had had a great time wallowing through the khet and trying to trip everyone up.

After everyone had scraped off most of their leeches the circle was convened with Towed as stand-in GM. After much dithering the second running of the Nakhu Khola biathlon was awarded a dubious 9.9. Virgins Marie and Oliver were welcomed to the hash in the usual way. As with all Maries and Marias (aka Left Behind) from Austria who come to the hash, Towed burst into a rendition from the Sound of Music (Aaarghh). If she comes again we could call her Left Behind Mark II.

Then returnees 69, James and Linda, the Toweds, the two Sherpz, and the Mad Dane's Mrs (another Maria) and daughter Inger were welcomed back. The much-missed 69 was heard to comment that this was his first hash were he had only comes across a single check -- a great tribute to Grumble's paper laying prowess. Then it was the turn of newcomers Andy and Delia: in Nepal to teach the British School horrors how to add up. Earlier on Andy had taken a spectacular tumble into the rice fields and so joined Towed and sundry other crashers for a free beer in the middle. The Hashit undeservedly went to Keeled for the heinous crime of questioning the credibility of the stand-in GM's younger son Lazy Towed. And that was the hash over with for another week!

emphasis">Lazy Towed. And that was the hash over with for another week!