Duckbill Strikes Back
Dear Esteemed GM,
I am writing to protest about the false and bizarre accusations, relating to the absence of my wonderful master, Towed, that were made in Trash 1393.
Noise pollution is not a crime in this country and I confess that, at times, having duck down in my ears and a red haze in front of my eyes makes me a little hard of hearing, hence the need for robustly expressed instructions. As for other forms of environmental damage, it is Keeled (if we can remember far enough back to when he last set a run!) and the other Hashers who do this, scattering their paper far and wide when all you need is a good nose to follow the trail made by their great clodhopping feet. If you study the photos in Trash 1391 you will note my efforts to limit this by eating the mess once most hashers had passed. I would also like to add that I haven't had a good run at any fauna for quite some time, thanks to my great and wonderful master who keeps me on the straight and narrow (and well away from paper most of the time - GM).
All in all the ludicrous diatribe represents an appalling attack on the women of this world and nursing mothers in particular.
Yours extremely respectfully
PS, It was not Lazy Towed that took the photos as alleged in the text but Tadpole, as correctly identified by the smart person who posted the pictures. Keeled really needs to get to know his amphibians better.