|Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1472||27 January 2007|
|Location||w. corner of Bageshwari Reserved Forest 'just' off the Nagarkot Road||Hares||Yogi Hare, Rubberlegs, Rabi|
|Trash||The Immigrant||Trashflash||Sweatilocks, Rotter|
|Remarkables||virgins: Sanjay Jha, Amita Kulkarni, Shoba Rayamaji, Isha Shrestha, Krisha Shrestha, Prabal Thapa newcomers: Melissa returnees: Lao Lover and his Lover, Tim, Tea Cosy, Al, Laurissa, Jo, Monette, Amy, Adèle, Surath visitors: aa leavers: aa|
|The Pictures||The Trash|
helped save the Grand Mistress’
dog from almost certain death just a fortnight previously, you can imagine
my surprise to find myself nominated by the Gee
Miss for 1472’s Hashit,
apparently for indiscriminately advertising Camelbak™! Still (ha)shit
happens, so here we go....
So, where does one start? Well, I think for Hash 1472 the approach route (or ‘approach rawt’ according to our hashers from across the pond) into the Hash Forming Up Point (HFUP) is worthy of a mention. A combination of hopeless instructions to the venue (quote ‘follow the road towards China’) and some uphill hairpins to test even the most mechanically sound of 4x4s was pretty outrageous. Can those responsible (Yogi) please go outside now and have a quiet word with themselves?! I once learnt a little phrase known as the 7Ps which stands for: Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. That said, it was mildly amusing watching some of 1472’s virgins and newcomers trying to strike deals with their respective taxi drivers based on the number of tyres they’d blown out on the way up. Had only the taxi drivers known that their passengers were not the typical Lazimpat – Bhaktapur drop offs as they’d stated when they got in!
Needless to say, the start was slightly delayed and the GM’s usual complaints about timekeeping were universally ignored, but the sun had it’s hat on and some Hasher’s were even sighted applying sun lotion prior to the off!
Having ruled out the possibility of any further latecomers, the hash set-off down some ankle-twistingly slippery steps which took us almost half-way down the original approach road (come on Scribe, it was ALL the way back down - GM) , which immediately raised the question of why had we driven all the way up to the top in the first place?...Oh well....on on!
After the pleasure of perhaps the only 100m of flat proper road on the ‘rowt’, the hash proceeded uphill, for pretty much the remainder of the day! Indeed, the current hash rumour is that ongoing Hare rivalry is leading to increasingly hardcore ‘rawts’! Having reached the first of the holding checks (was that 3,5 or 7, I don’t think anyone knew), it was noted that the HFUP could be seen on the horizon and it still wasn’t too late to turn back! But, alas we were soon heading back down hill anyway on perhaps the slipperiest grass ever to be found in the Himalayas. Comments such as ‘sack the Hare’, ‘I’m going to break one of my legs on here’ and ‘whose idea was this anyway?’ could be heard echoing around the valley for miles according to local villagers.
The ‘rawt’ continued, hugging the edges of the valley, passing some minor streams until we came up against a challenging river crossing (main photo - GM) with a vertical scramble up slippery boulders upon exit which would ordinarily require caribinas, crampons and probably pick axes, but not for us hashers! The reward for crossing the river in one piece was a punishing uphill power-walk (not even the most hardened hashers were running at this point) climbing over 250m to a spot height of 1720m, surely making Hash 1472 the highest recorded this year?! After a welcome holding check at the summit to regroup and take on water (except for those that didn’t have any...see it may look hideous), the hash finally began descending and after a minor dummy trail, a newcomer briefly led the hash and confidently called ‘ON ON’ as she passed some bemused looking villagers carrying gigantic baskets. They were clearly wondering why WE were sweating, we weren’t carrying anything? The Hares at this point showed some humanity and offered an approved short-cut, which was welcomed by a number of individuals previously chastised and referred to as ‘slow coaches’ in a earlier and more damning hashit.
Another good dummy trail followed and led a small group of hashers down a very dodgy dark alley straight into someone’s back yard! The usual ‘checking’ confusion ensued until we were back on ‘rawt’. As we tumbled down large steps carved out of the soil, a giant paper hash arrow was spotted and it was rumoured that we might on the home straight?! Having been led into a false sense of security by previous hares the cynical Hashers amongst the group prepared themselves psychologically for at least another 30 mins of punishment. But then, just like an oasis in the desert or a European toilet in Thamel, glimpses of cars could be seen through the trees and we were indeed finished, in every sense of the word!
After several hashers sought ‘probably the best post-hash rehydration in the world’, the circle was called to attention and the Gee Miss, who had turned up hours late (after going as far as a Nagarkot hotel and not being able to proceed any further without a beer - GM) and hadn’t even considered trying to catch us (have a word), was summoned to the centre. But, just as proceedings began, from out of the woods, like a crazy man-eating tiger, sprung Jannie! Hard proof that other late comers could also have caught us, had they stopped looking at their watches after parking their cars and in fact started running. Needless to say, Jannie took the first down down of the afternoon to much applause. The Gee Miss went on to interrogate many of the virgins and newcomers but almost exclusively in Nepali which was lost on many of us plain old English speakers, still my ears pricked up when I heard that we might have a Channel Islander in our ranks (check her visa I say), but this rumour was quickly put to bed when it turned out that the newcomer in fact originates from New Jersey and not the proper Jersey, oh well!
Yogi and the other Hares were rewarded (why?) and then a few punishment down downs were handed out for WWAH (Wanking Whilst at Hash including some double-handers) and not paying attention, notably both the GM and Keeled Over were caught well and truly red-handed discussing the price of beans in Bluebird of all things!! Jenny knelt before the GM and was formally knighted as ‘Sweatilocks’ allegedly a reference to some sort of personal hygiene issue, then the Hash was duly awarded a score of 9.9 reoccurring, another good effort by the Hares.
So will the battle for Hare supremacy lead to a search for ‘rawts’ with even more tightly packed contour lines than those seen already this year (perhaps)? Will the GM ever say anything nice to anybody (unlikely) (stuff it you wanker - GM)? Find out at Hash 1473....On On!
an>? Find out at Hash 1473....On On!