Himalayan Mixed Hash Run No. 1481 31 March 2007
Location near Manamaiju north of Balaju Hares Prabal
Hashers 38, of whom 17 drank beer Hashit Prabal
Trash Towed Trashflash Jannie
Remarkables virgins: Fergus McBean, Marcus Kleine, Alexander and Anthony Jerkunica, Dina Zabaldo newcomers: Tina Rai returnees: Towed leavers: Towed
The Pictures The Trash

Above: be seated Ladies and Gents. Wouldn't happen if I was there - GM

Acting GM makes sure the Hares get what they deserved

Virgins Fergus, Alexander and Anthony

Virgins Dina and Marcus

Probably returnees, although I don't recognize the one on the left

Hashit for the Hare

Well, wasn't’t it wonderful to be back!

No sooner had we arrived at the On-In than Mrs Rotter presented me with the Hash Cash box and the news that the GM wasn’t well enough to come to the hash. Sure enough, he had been threatening to be terminally ill by the afternoon when I had spoken to him earlier in the day. I suppose it is only to be expected as he’d been in the field last week. Anyway, taking the hash cash at least made me meet all the new hashers who have arrived in the last year. But where were the old school? Griot, Rubber Legs and Yogi Hare at least turned up, as did GNHasher, but Keeled was off on an afternoon walk somewhere and Over Exposed was probably in the huff at being the butt of the front page cartoon in the Kathmandu Post. And where was the new denizen of hash discipline and authority, the Gee Mizz? (I only came to the hash so I could meet her). Still, the Hares were there, the beer was there, so why care about anything else.

Anyway, things got off to a seriously delayed start (I later realised my watch was still on Dhaka time so it wasn’t as serious as all that) with Acting GM Griot calling the circle to order and asking the Hares to explain themselves. An admirable briefing was provided by Virgin Hare Prabal (reading from notes which meant that it was probably much more reliable that anything he will do in future). Eleven checks, with numbers 2, 6, 7 and 10 as holding checks. There might be false trails and, if it had been post monsoon, there would have been river crossings. Walkers were to follow someone else (possibly Mrs Prabal, as she left with him after the hash, but then again, maybe he just pulled) who had a map. Highly reassuring for the walkers and possibly encouraged a few to go on the run!

First paper was off over the edge of the precipice and down into the valley very familiar to those with the misfortune to experience a Night Owl Run. Paper was lost as soon as we got to the river, the Hares obviously being on a “save the rain forest” mission and using between 3 and 7 pieces of the micro-shredded stuff in each blob. With a little prompting from the Hare, the trail was rediscovered heading north over a future building site then along a ridge to Holding Check 2. Check 1 had been somewhere along the way but had provided little respite from the relentless front running of Yogi Hare and his mates. I won’t mention the front runners again as it always seemed to be the same three disgustingly fit bastards led by Yogi.

From Check 2 the trail continued north and bearing round to the west a bit. An obvious left hand loop coming up! Checks 3, 4 and 5 disappeared in the blur of running at altitude again – either that, or I had inexplicably and most unusually strayed from the paper. I can recall encountering one of them but have no idea which one. I seemed during this stage to be fairly consistently in the company of Griot, Billie and The Uncouple, once I’d fought my way past GNHasher and his flock of virgins. Anyway we all reached Holding Check 6, somewhere not too far from the Kakani Road, in a reasonable group. This was where things went seriously wrong for me.

(However, this trash is looking good – only at Check 6 and I’m over 600 words already!)

Having skirted round a little south of the trail in a search for paper (along with the guy who came with us that wasn’t Fergus), we eventually spotted the pack heading up a steep shoulder towards a small temple. OK, so the trail I’m on also heads up parallel to this so I follow it. It is, after all, clearly going to be a left hand loop. Then, when I reach a height similar to the temple, which is obviously Holding Check 7, it also becomes obvious that there are no trails across the steep hillside between us. Also that the pack seem to have disappeared in an easterly direction. Bollocks – I’ve been caught out by a Virgin Hare. Much backtracking followed and I eventually caught the pack and a smug looking Hare at Check 8.

There followed some intricate running along narrow trails between the wheat fields and a precipice, before moving on to good wide running trails. Not sure where Check 9 went to but Holding Check 10 was in a beautiful location under a big pipal tree. After this we followed further excellent trails, catching up with the walkers, or at least their back markers, and on back into the valley below the On-In. This was where the paper finally got a bit confused, and even assistant Hare, Rubber Legs, didn’t seem to know where the trail was. However we all knew where the beer was and headed in that direction.

The Walkers apparently had a wonderful time, other than losing a small spaniel somewhere along the way (what is it about spaniels and the HHHH?) Everyone was back by around 5.30 and Griot called the circle to order soon afterwards.

In the longstanding hash tradition, food was immediately brought to the table and the loosely formed circle descended like vultures (especially the younger members of the female gender) leaving Griot shouting at himself. Anyway, once appetites were at least temporarily sated, the Hares appeared in the circle and opinions on the run were invited. These varied from too flat, through too hilly and too dry, to too many river crossings but in the end it was considered a very good run by Prabal at his first attempt, despite the early lack of paper. An opening bid of 9.2 was soon raised to 9.9 which the Acting GM immediately awarded.

Virgins followed – there were at least four, two of whom were visiting their mother/mother-in-law (why wasn’t she on the hash as well?) a young German who was supposed to be having a meeting with Fergus at 16.00 but obviously got his priorities sorted out properly, and the other(s) who clearly hadn’t got priorities sorted as they (he, she or it) had been in Kathmandu for some months but never been on the hash. The acting GM treated them all gently so there is a chance they’ll come back, at least until the GM is well enough to return.

Three of us were then greeted as returnees. Myself, I prefer the term “welcome back” which I know the GM would have used. Four leavers, including two of the returnees, were then fêted before there was an ugly rush for food during an interlude whilst the Acting GM explained what wanking was to the Walkers Hare (she had been under the impression that it was wearing sunglasses – could be about right if you look at George Dubya’s bodyguards, Wacko Jacko etc.) The two who had been genuinely wanking were then duly castigated, crashers were, I believe, also called in but finally in an urgent rush to bring matters to a close, Griot called for nominations for the Hashit.

Yogi Hare immediately tried to nominate me for wearing what are considered, in Indonesia, to be standard hash pants (pants in the American sense – I don’t think he could see my cheesecloth thong). However the GM swiftly overruled this and called in the Hare on the grounds that he had set far too good a run at his first attempt.

Social drinking was declared and the pack slowly drifted off. One incident of note was Barbie's question of “how much do you have to pay for the second beer?”. The avaricious GM and GMizz not being present, he got away with a free one.

The food was wonderful, so thanks to Mrs Rotter and anyone else involved; the company was good (no Keeled, no GM) and the run was excellent. Thanks to all involved, except to The Fox for not turning up on the great occasion of my return.

On On ‘til the next time. Towed

my return.

On On ‘til the next time. Towed