Running, Swimming, Fighting and Warm Beer – What More Could You Ask For?
So this is a co-scribed, all inclusive trash, with input from the hare who will correct all the mistakes...and there were many. Yes indeed, a combined HB/SS effort in adding dimensions to the trash because wouldn’t it be nice if for a change Howzatt knows what is happening a kilometer in front of him while Hole-in-One is aware what he is running from?
The first mistake occurred at the OnSite... but was it the real OnSite? To this day we can’t be sure that the instructions posted by the venerable GM were correct, certainly the marking left at the spot suggested it may have been a re-group not the OnSite but nevertheless that’s where the pack assembled. After a thorough investigation of the area, the hares in their infinite wisdom decided to move the OnSite a little back towards town, so as not to drain the pack of energy before starting its weekly adventure. My fellow scribe seems to have forgotten (not intentionally of course) that this new OnSite was an upgraded one, having the Langtang peaks clear in the background.
The second mistake was to follow He-Bitch up the hill from the OnSite...a smarter move was to tail Strip Tees as he peeled off right following the directions of a local past a couple of houses and off into the fields. SS is most probably referring to following me spiritually, since I was in the middle of the pack, bargaining about the rights of temporary ownership of Sundari. But yes, where everybody went straight Strip Tees was looking for some privacy and went down a little path that was covered with the first paper.
Still not to be deterred, the pack eventually got underway and headed off around the paddy heading towards the first and second checks. There were a few spills on the way down from the second check, all duly rewarded at the end of the run with down-downs for hash crashes. And so the sweeping began. While Doggystyle ran off with the FRB’s, the solid tail was embodied by Apple, Richard, Howzatt and Magdalena. After some runners getting help to overcome a steep little hill (some kept referring to it as wall) we then had to get into a controlled Hash-crash to proceed further down. When the human waterfall reached the grass it was up again, heading for the lake at the other side of the hill.
Now this scribe believes that everyone made it to the first holding, and it was here that we encountered mistake number three! What was that we hear you cry? Well it was a mistake that most of the pack didn’t make but one intrepid hasher in the shape of Dingaling did sign up for it, foolishly believing that paper had been laid across the lake opposite the holding, he decided to swim for it! And after disturbing all the wildlife, (sorry to interrupt you here my dear fellow scribe, but wouldn’t you rather say ‘after becoming part of the wildlife?’) and a couple of fisherman he then had to make a swift U-turn and chase the pack back across the fields towards check number 4. Standing at the first holding, a sensation of pride ran through the veins of the hares as they saw the pack running one ingenious false trail after the other around the lake, (with Liquor up front) while a little head in the middle of the lake was looking how to escape the approaching fishermen, thinking they were on to something big. Sweet Cheeks finally ended the search for honest paper by finding the right track.
Now on the way we mingled with the walkers and that gave the GM a good excuse to duck out of the remainder of the run and paddle back to the OnSite at a slightly more leisurely pace. Check 5 also appears to have been a mistake. Just as the front runners arrived the hares decided to call it as a holding. Now when this scribe arrived it was definitely a 2-circled check but all that could be heard from the laggards at the rear was “holding, holding”. So confusion ensued causing much angst to Doggy Style and Strip Tees. The latter ran into some paper just past the check (or was it a holding?) and had to be forcibly instructed in the art of calling on-on by a somewhat agitated Doggy. Arriving at the check, this sweeping scribe was shocked by seeing the pack gathered on a sort of Sit-in. Would this be the first Banda on the hash? The marking was clear, a CHECK, as in check it out! Not in 'let’s check how the grass will feel against my butt!' It took a lot of pep-talk to get the pack slowly back in motion, (now we can all be critical about the GM switching sides, but at least he was moving). Finally the trail of paper was spotted. This scribe ended up taking the growing tail on a shortcut, ensuring we would finish with the number of people we started with.
So on-on it was, and we soon found ourselves climbing up in a delightful loop to the 2nd holding that can only have been dreamed up by He-Bitch. Now it was shortly after this that an unsuspecting member of the public made an almost fatal mistake...challenging Raj to a head-to-head after providing some less-than-useful commentary on his running style as he descended the hill from the holding. Fortunately Keeled was on hand to pour petrol on troubled waters. With peace restored it was back to the trail and on to the final holding. Another hill and a stop at the famed “fertility temple” then on down to the lake and back eventually to the OnSite. My fellow scribe, what is this, summarizing half the hash in one sentence?, Is Impressive fixing you a gin tonic that makes you feel the work is done? Have you forgotten about the picturesque kitchen gardens, the nice long stretches after coming down the hill? Half-a-lunch skinning reptiles? The green hills surrounded by golden fields and smiling people? The fact that not ONE hasher lost sight of paper at any time? It was clear that every bit of this hash was well designed, a big hand for whoever gave us the possibility to experience this!
Ok, back to reality, the tail started to slow down and finally took on a pace that would have been comfortable for Tony. After having climbed the stairway to reproduction heaven (I seriously doubt anyone felt like acting on any fertility feeling after finally reaching the temple), we went down and passed the lake on the way back, fishermen still scanning the water for that big fish that got away.
Now here we experienced the final mistake of the day. Once again the pack, after an energetic and at times heated run, had to endure warm beer! It’s too cold for ice we were told! Well this scribe is reliably assured that hashers like penguins never find it too cold for ice! Having finally finished the sweeping, the circle was formed by the GM . Despite his ongoing efforts, he couldn’t convince a number of hashers that he had actually something interesting to tell them. Nonetheless they got their deserved down down. Other people having to chuck down the half-warm beer were Keeled, the usual visitors and virgins, crashers and splashers, and of course, the heroic hares for a 9.9-rewarded hash. Finally, the GM blamed the lack of an alpha-male scribe for the absence of Trash 1562 while all of other scribes know that it was the lack of devotion of Ties that stripped us of our good reputation.