Bring on the virgins!
Brainey makes use of Laos Lover's usual last check overlooking Arubari
Up on the pine ridge
The gaping boot and the scribe of the ramblings to the right
For abusing the stand-in GM
Newcomer gets new shoe down-down
I've seen those shorts somewhere before!
Hash 1610 was off to a great start as Keeled Over kindly decided to
ignore the GM's previous order to raise the price for all Hash
participants. Alerted to his oversight Keeled Over smiled and quietly
mumbled something about always having wanted to dip into the GM's
pension fund. Asked about the GM's absence it was explained that he had
been incapacitated as a result of drinking out of his brand new shoes on
(On a totally unrelated side note Keeled Over hasn't been heard from
since returning the hash-cash to the GM's residence on Saturday evening.)
The GM wasn't the only noticeable absence as many willing hashers had
been turned off by the terrible instructions for getting to the on-in,
the Hares hadn't even bother to include a map! Other willing
participants arrived late, most likely due to being massively hungover
from the previous night at 1905 where what has been described as the
party of the century took place to celebrate someone's 25th birthday.
Just as the runners were set to start a young Brit (who has requested to
remain anonymous arrived at the scene shocking everyone with his
ridiculously short boxers. After a good 5 minutes the excitement faded
and Hash 1610 was finally underway.
Initially starting off on a flat path next to a small river, the paper
trail quickly turned upwards into the hills. Things remained uneventful
as the Runners passed Kopan monastery and slowly made their way along
the sides of the hills.
At some point the Runners group leading the pack
followed the On-On to the top of a hill for 10 minutes before realizing
that it was a dead end. Not wanting to turn back the group decided to go
down the steep side of the hills and if it weren't for HeBitch's heroic
guidance the majority of the group most likely wouldn't have made it.
After catching up with the rest of the gang another hill covered in
pines needed to be attacked. At the top of the hill HeBitch outraged
Keeled Over by using his mobile phone to talk to his mother in Holland.
The subsequent run down that hill turned out to be the most challenging
part of the Hash. The Runners faced a ridiculously steep descent which
resulted in several people almost falling to their death if it hadn't
been for HeBitch, who again saved the day.
There was also an attempt on StripTies' life when someone “accidentally”
bumped into a rock that proceeded to tumble down the hill and only
barely missed StripTies. It can be assumed that the perpetrator was
insulted by not having been invited to the aforementioned party of the
century the previous day.
Other notable events during that descent was an attack on Trouble who by
now, in this writer's opinion at least, should really be renamed to
Stoned considering how often people throw stones at him. This writer
also suffered from what soon became known as “the shoe-explosion”
whereby a previously already damaged shoe simply disintegrated. However
a quick visit to the neighbourhood cobbler resulted in a repaired shoe
that will be put to the test on Hash 1611.
Towards the end of the run some attention seekers decided to move the
holding check into a village centre where they enjoyed the local
people's undivided attention.
Due to the late departure of the runners and the long run the sun soon
began to set after everyone had arrived back at the On-In. HeBitch took
over the proceedings by assembling the crowds in what was supposed to be
a circle. While the following minutes saw many down-downs and HeBitch did his best to stay on-top of things the majority of the Hashers
quietly dreamed of a better world where the GM would lead the
proceedings. His shouting was dearly missed.
The GM's absence was also noticeable in the temperature of the beers
which various sources adequately described as piss-warm. Someone along
what is normally an efficient chain of command had very obviously messed
up. As a result HeBitch ordered for as much of the horrendous beer to be
drunk as possible.
So apart from the traditional down-downs enjoyed by Hares, Virgins,
HashCrashers and similarly dubious figures (“lost and found”?) HeBitch
at one point ordered everyone but himself, Hole-in-One and the Scholars
into the circle. The excuse for this decision was the outrageous claim
that most Runners didn't support the checking out efforts which really
couldn't be further from the truth. The other noteworthy event was Dan,
a Virgin, refusing to drink beer from his shoes as they were too dirty.
He did however end up drinking a beer out of the 2nd virgin's shoes...!
At the end of the proceedings the Hashit was awarded to Brainey for
providing a “complete package of brains and balls”, whatever that may
At this point the sun had long set, therefore the social drinkers
quickly disbanded and the Hashers started their long journey home.
the writer of these lines had had several down-downs the subsequent buzz
combined with the exhaustion from the run resulted in the end of Hash
1610 dissolving into a warm fuzzy blur as the microbus slowly made its
way back to the Ring Road...